January 26, 2009

Fiddy Cent, Sugar Water + the case of the 48,000 sq ft house.

Is Fiddy Cent’s 48,000 square ft crib w/$20 million in car$ + his branded Coca Cola-owned sugarific VitaminWater immoral?

VitaminWater? More like sugar water—and that includes Fiddy Cent’s own VitaminWater brand, I forget what it’s called ’cause I don’t drink the shiite. So start buying some…say…juice…and stop funding 50 Cent’s so-ungreen-it’s…er…black Crib (click here for video)…which rings in at duh-duh, duh-duh, duh-duh48,000 square feet (19Ksqft more than hypocritical politico John Edwards’ “home”), includes a garage-full of sports cars that could each rescue someone for life from the ghetto in which 50 Cent, once one of the f-ups effing up the ghettos, infamously got shot.

Where was I…oh yes: VitaminWater/Coca Cola’s getting sued for greenwashing. Less than 1% juice? Read allaboutit at Treehugger, one of only fiddy green sites better than this one. Excerpt:

…using buzzwords like “definitely au naturel” and “triple antioxidants” on the product’s packaging. VitaminWater’s incredibly obnoxious and hard-to-navigate website even claims that these miracle beverages can boost immunity or help your joints stay flexible. The marketing ploy has allegedly tricked consumers into purchasing VitaminWater for its “healthful benefits.” Coke responded by calling the lawsuit “ridiculous.” …

“When I bought VitaminWater, frankly I thought I was doing myself a favor health-wise,” said the plaintiff, San Francisco, California, resident James Koh, who used to purchase and drink VitaminWater after working out at the gym. “I was attracted by the prospect of getting extra vitamins. But I had no idea that I was actually getting almost a Coke’s worth of sugar and calories. There’s no way I would have spent money on that, had I known.”

Bonus Excerpt:

…nger’s ’65 Chevy Impala and ’84 Buick Regal has been trying to talk the megastar out of what some will regard as sacrilege.

“I don’t think is such a good idea and it’s going to end up costing him almost as much as the car,” predicts the host of the ‘Ride With Funkmaster Flex’ cult TV show. Rather than hack the roof off the Phantom, Flex thinks it would be better to try and buy a production example of the stunning 100EX convertible concept car when it goes on sale in 2007. An idea 50 is having none of.

“They won’t give me one,” he tuts with the air of a petulant teenager. “Having me drive a Rolls-Royce is great for [promoting the company], but they don’t see eye to eye with the kid yet.”

50 (I have been warned not to call him Mr. Cent!) is flexing his considerable muscles. Less than three years since being drop-kicked to the top of the hip-hop parade with a plug from Eminem, 50 is enjoying the power of fame and spending a $100 million fortune which would run many a small country.

Fame and fortune has come at a price. In 2000, Curtis James Jackson III was shot outside his grandma’ New York house. Now there are more bullet wounds in his body than fingers on one of his blinged-up diamond-encrusted hands. One 9mm shell even went through his front teeth. Every time he grins I try and spot it.

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