January 15, 2011

My anti top ten top ten list (I adore oxymorons)

From the “top ten reasons your yoga class sucks, to the top reasons your yoga teacher hates you to the top ten reasons your yoga isn’t as good as my yoga….ad nauseum”  I am over it.  Seriously – — here’s MY top ten list of why your top ten lists are lame.

1.  Judge much?  do I even need to go into this? from the list that complains about people wearing lululemon to people not being as spiritual as “they” are…do your own practice and let others have their experience.  List that talk about how people OM or don’t chant or do. Blogs that talk about how if a teacher does “insert authors pet peeve” they are automatically not as good a teacher or fake or whatever presumption….HEY — you know what? everyone has a different style – and that’s good.

2.  Money is  the root of all evil., well actually NO..but hating on people that have it? well, I’m just sayin’.  This is one I was once totally guilty of…like somehow the woman that drove a BMW to class couldn’t possible be as spiritual? why not?  as everyone is so fond of pointing out- it is an internal experience…so I’m guessing you don’t know what someones personal experience is….so how would you know?

3.  My yoga rules…seriously? seriOUSLY???? do we need to keep having this conversation? Your yoga is not better …or worse and neither is mine and neither is theres and neither….get it?  YOGA just is and each person gets to connect to it the way they need to OK? enough already.  Very few things turn me off more than a yogi that is so attached to their little corner of yoga practice that they can’t accept that other forms may have valididity.  Clue? being NEW doesn’t make it BAD just as being OLD doesn’t automatically make something PERFECT (and vice versa)  — I guess this could have been a whole rant by itself but I’ll take a breath and move on.

4.  Yoga is not free.  Please Please stop complaining about the cost of classes.  I know it’s not cheap, but neither is getting a massage, or seeing a psychiatrist.  If going to a yoga studio is too expensive you can do a home practice and gyms now have many classes included in their memberships.  I’m sorry that people need to eat and pay for homes. If this was “the old days” as a teacher my students would give me a place to live and feed me in exchange for teaching…uhmmm I think we would all prefer I just get a paycheck and we have a studio to practice in…please don’t tell me I am not a good teacher because I don’t teach for free. I spent 10 years getting over that feeling and accepting that my time and knowledge was worth a monetary exchange. (oh and as my mom always said – you get what you pay for)  PS I do teach for charities, as do most of the teachers I have ever met, but that’s a different story

5.   On that note — another list favorite are the lists that complain about the cost of yoga and then turn around and complain about the state of the yoga studio…OK folks here’s the deal, the reason that  a studio can charge less for class is directly related to location and the state of the studio…you want posh? expect to pay for it…want to a cheap class? don’t complain that they haven’t been able to upgrade to a brand new bamboo floor this year.  Bothered by the traffic noise? rent is more expensive in certain areas…trust me if you are present in your practice that noise won’t bother you…and if it does then learn from it…sorry that as a teacher I don’t have supernatural powers to control everything outside of the room…I’m working on it, really.

6. the ” what is yoga argument”.  see number 3 above. But additionally I really really LOVE when  said articles say that doing asana is not yoga, or meditation is the only true yoga — how about the statements like,  I have progressed past asana.  OI (and vay as well)   News flash you can even practice yoga without meditation — (Bob W of Gita Talk fame has a great way of looking at this) YOU are not more advanced, yoga does not suck, people who do asana are not less evolved AND vice versa, buddhists aren’t better and neither are yogis….OHH bonus news flash even people that don’t do ANY yoga or study buddhism even some peole that are atheist are spiritual or at the very least wonderful human beings too (as are some meat eaters but that is definitely a whole other rant)

7.  Don’t step on my mat, don’t go to the bathroom, don’t put your mat to close to mine — don’t do anything in any way that is different from how I do it, or how i want it… do I really need to say more? ’cause I’m so yogi that my way is better than yours and I have never had a bad day and I have never had a moment in my life when I was self absorbed or not fully present…nope I’m perfect and all you other a**holes are just rude…I mean ‘cuase if I did something that annoyed someone else I had a good reason – but you probably don’t…and there is NO way we see things differently…nope can’t happen…

8. That guy smells!!!  OMG…you mean the person next to you, or in your class, is human??? Stop the presses -cancel class…so let me get this straight – don’t be overly dolled up and wear brand new yoga gear but also don’t show up looking shabby or smelling?  OK so only show up to yoga class if you don’t have any issues or humanity to work through?   No, that’s totally cool and of course completely makes sense in terms of yoga.

9.  Don’t be too serious, don’t take it too lightly….we don’t appreciate how spiritual it all really is…but we shouldn’t talk about it being sacred.  Be reverent but if you act reverent (’cause we can all always tell the difference) then you are fake.  How about this…if a student or teacher or studio wants to behave in a certain way and it works for you then you can hang with them…if it doesn’t?well then maybe a different Kula is a better for you? cool…OH sorry was using the would kula fake to you? sorry it’s real for me…

10.  I hate… this is my biggest ick factor…our little spiritual world has no room for “hate” especially when it’s then followed by something trivial (like a yoga teacher that hates students dirty feet…really?)    No matter how you experience it, yogasana, meditation, buddhism, living green, bhakti, with sanskrit or without, with yoga voice or not, on the mat or off — there is room in this big wide world for all of it…take your path, walk it straight and true (and get back on when you wander) eventually we all come to the same place…can’t we all just get along as we travel together?

Rant done…stepping off soap box…storing the megaphone…well until my next blog about why meat eaters can be animal lovers too…:) How am I doing Waylon?  I might just like this inciting thing a little after all :p

Love Light and Rebellion!

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