November 2, 2011

I’m so far behind I think I’m first…

I promised to write this weekend. I didn’t. It’s making me cranky….
I am moving into my parents house as they prepare to move from said house after 25 years and head to southern cal. There is a week of overlap as our old place is rented …so for one week I am actually living with my parents.

That’s a whole other Oprah.

Suffice it to say that moving alone made the promise of really writing beyond naive — but the move wasn’t all I committed to.

I have still tried to maintain my presence in Gita Talk, I’m behind in the virtual book club for the Four Desires (partly because in addition to the EJ book Club I am running my own private small “work” group designed to help people actually do the work and not just read it,ya’ know)

OH yeah I’m teaching yoga a few times a week — hey it’s what I do.
I’m continually – endlessly – forever trying to get my own website and blog and business where I want it

all while trying to plan workshops and teacher trainings and anusara immersions, as the Event Coordinator at a studio in Carbondale, CO

Am I sorry I didn’t write this weekend? NO- I’m sorry I said I would write – like the four agreements I want to Be Impeccable With My Word…and not living up to that public statement has been eating at me…so I had to post SOMETHING…otherwise it was this hanging nagging guilt thing…is that attachment? (vairagya) Is it just ego telling me I’m so darned important anyone actually misses me? Or is it a conscientiousness nature — I’m going to go with that one. Yeah that’s it I just want to be true to my word.

What does your world look like when you feel overwhelmed and unable to fulfill your commitments? Do you say yes too much? Are you eyes biger than your stomach, as the saying goes?

Or are you one of those people that make people like me feel like we got the short end of the DNA stick — you know who you are: you run a successful business, raise amazing children, look 10 years younger, probably have coordinating hand bags and volunteer for three different organizations and raise money for the local shelter. I’ve watched you — best I can muster this week?

I am so proud that I have maintained my 1/2 hour meditation practice regardless of my schedule and I have stayed present for my family AND I have made sure to play a card game with my mother every night because the truth is I am so sad she is leaving…I am going to miss her and all this other stuff seems so paltry compared to not living next to my mommy.

So that’s all. It may be another week or two before I jump back into my writing for real. It may be a while before I get caught up on reading and my work and my boss may continue to freak out as we don’t have contracts signed or marketing planned or well a location for the workshops. But the truth is I’ve learned to trust the universe a bit and I am certain it will all work itself out…so in the mean time I think I’ll just give myself a break continue to meditate and enjoy my family. In the end it really is all that matters. Maybe this yoga stuff is working 🙂

Love and Light Omies I’m off to unpack another box 🙂

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