April 21, 2012

How to Comment like a D**chebag on the Internet. ~ Anonymous

A Handy 10-Step Guide.

1. Make sure your account’s name is anonymous.

2. Say something without thinking about it first.

3. Say something really mean and condescending and macho and righteous without punctuation and with at least two exclamation marks. Don’t sign off.

4. End your insult in a vague ellipses, signifying that you couldn’t spare the time to complete your own thought because you had to get busy s*****g your own d**k, you’re so impressed with how macho you are when you’re anonymous.

5. Criticise the author, who doesn’t have the luxury of anonymity, for being negative or critical by being negative and critical.

6. It’s not a dialogue. Leave your steaming insult and don’t come back and respond to the author’s thoughtful, hurt comment.

7. Don’t think about the author’s feelings or even visualize them as a feeling, human being. Live out your John Wayne/Bill O’Reilly fantasy.

8. If you see a sexy image and want to criticize the author for posting it, make sure you’re at home safe home wearing only your underwear while criticizing others for wearing only their underwear.

9. F*ck you.

10. ….


PS: thoughtful, mindful, in-depth criticism turns thoughtful, mindful, loving people on. ~ Robert Sturman, Lindsey Block, Waylon “All the Bad Parts above are my Fault” Lewis

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