April 1, 2013

Whole Foods bans GMOs! [April Fool’s Day edition]

After seeing its stock price struggle for a year, plus founder John Mackey’s shenanigans, hostile takeover takes Whole Foods private; to be controlled by Koch Brothers.


Whole Foods, in bold move, announces it will go truly green—customers flock elsewhere.

Whole Foods to carry only gmo-free & organic products that are local, fair labor; bans plastic packaging.

Bad Business? Whole Foods goes fully Green.

From now on, Whole Foods will only carry non-GMO, organic food without plastic packaging.

In response, 90% of Whole Foods’ existing customers, in a USA Today Poll, say they’ll shop elsewhere.

Apparently, most of Whole Foods former customers had little problem shopping at Safeway, King Soopers, etc—groceries where they could still find conventional products made half a world away that were “cheap” on the backs of human beings who didn’t get paid properly, worked overlong days in unsafe conditions, and sometimes brought their children along to help out.

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