May 28, 2013

It’s Our Challenges that Change Us: A Perception Shift for Change.

“Life is 10% what you make it, and 90% how you take it.” ~ Irving Berlin

Word to your Mamma!!!

This has to be one of the truest of truths and a concept that’s been ricocheting and reverberating through my life for a few years now.

Let’s just say the past 26 months since having our little girl Ayanna have been challenging—it’s been the most amazing, expansive, transformational experience of my life—but oh sweet baby Jesus, has it been hard.

Sooo hard, and it still is so hard (and challenging and uncomfortable and frustrating and daunting), every single day. But, it’s full of love and the experience is brimming over with growth.

It’s both—unreal and heavenly—and other times I swear I could be submerged in the fiery flames of hell it’s so intense.

Life was always challenging; it is for most of us, but since becoming a parent, my challenges are no longer spontaneously sprinkled, but nestled so closely into every moment that they have become inseparable from the experience of my life.

I sort of feel like I’m in one long hold in Warrior II—one long fuck-off hold, where you can feel your arms shaking, your legs burning, the fire so intense, you can tell you’re about to explode into something more magnificent…if you can just hold it.

Be with it, surrender to it—so that’s what I’ve been trying to do.

Accept that it’s challenging. Get ok with it, welcome in the fire of it, even walk towards the flames.

Why? Because it’s our challenges that are going to change us—it’s our dark spots that are holding us back from living more fully in the light.

The pathway to our most expansive self is mapped out by our challenges; our discomfort and our darkness are the torches holding the potential to lead us into our light.

The rough spots, the sharp bits, the fire pits and the heavy weight of misalignment aren’t indications that we should turn back, or run away, try something else, give up, or let go—they’re not warning bells, but markers for our expansion. As Wayne Dyer said,”change the way you look at things, and the things you look at change.”

Imagine how much growth and transformation we’d experience if instead of turning away from our challenges, we turned towards them.

And then, what would happen if instead of running from the uncomfortable spots, we actively and open-heartedly sought them out…high-speed transformation would happen, that’s what!

When we shy away from the unfamiliar, the bumpy and patchy parts, the hard-work-requiring-bits, the challenging, fiery aspects of our lives, we shy away from our true potential, and consequently end up limiting ourselves and what we can become and achieve in this lifetime.

Our challenges pave the way to change, so if we continually run from them, it’s like perpetually treading water, swimming in circles or moving backwards—we ultimately end up blocking our possibility at becoming more.

So next time you catch yourself backing away from anything that feels not as cozy as a bubble bath, a back rub, or a glass of wine, shift your perspective and find the bravery to sit in the flames, knowing that it’s your challenges that change you and your perceptions that paint the picture of your life!

Things are only as hard, unlucky and negative as you deem them to be—so, why not choose to see your life with a positive perspective, a rose-coloured lens?

Why not use the challenging bits—the fiery uncomfortable bits, the 26 month holds in Warrior II, the never-ending assignments, the sleepless nights, the rude passerby, the traffic, the lack of parking spots, as—opportunities for change, growth and transformation?

After all, if that’s what you deem them to be, then that’s what they are—challenges as chances at change…I think I like that lens.



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Ed: Bryonie Wise

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