At one point I was a 24 year old who hadn’t had a girlfriend. I was shy, nervous and afraid to speak to women.

This wasn’t okay with me anymore.

I made the resolution to solve it, to learn to do whatever I needed to handle this part of my life.

I went and grabbed tons of books, mp3′s, videos and anything else. I needed a full makeover (I know it’s funny to think of a guy being this insecure and nervous and putting in all this effort, but it was important to me).

In my research on dating, which ranges from neuro-linguistic programming, meditation, social rapport building techniques, visualization, marriage research, pick up and Feng Shui, I found Feng Shui to be the least acknowledged yet one of the most important methods.

It is one of the fields of study that really helped me make my home an inviting space that made women see who I really am. A field that isn’t often touched on but is powerful is Feng Shui.

Originally termed for how buildings reference other buildings, Feng Shui as a concept acknowledges the manner how we arrange our stuff and reflects our consciousness. Therefore if you change your stuff, you change your life.

Your possessions as well as how you arrange them reflect your consciousness. A great example of how our possessions say something about our beliefs is illustrated in a the famous movie The Secret. If you recall in the film, a Feng Shui coach shared a story about a man who wanted a partner but had many pictures of a lonely woman in his home. The Feng Shui coach advised him to replace the paintings with those of women who signified availability–as these would have a more positive reflection on his dating outcomes.

Very soon after making this change, the man was engaged to the love of his life.

Now, if you believe all this to be sorcery, think about how you feel inside a dirty house. If someone’s home smells bad and they have their stuff thrown about everywhere, do you want to be there? I am sure your answer is no and if that is so, it’s safe to say you probably also don’t want to date and live with that person either.

Similarly, if someone’s home reflect similar values and is inviting to you, you are more likely to be romantically interested.

I am sure that if you’re like me when you have people over you like to have a  clean space. I’m also sure you like the environment to be this way because you want them to feel good while in your home.

Your place and your things communicate who you are and what you want. By altering your environment you can influence how you are perceived and what you communicate about yourself, negatively or positively.

Many of us don’t know to what extent our belongings and their arrangement really do communicate who we are. In studying Feng Shui, I learned some simple techniques to really help aid me in this awareness.

In a moment, I would like to share some simple tips with you that really helped me in my dating life.

I have found that many women will quickly make lasting decisions about a man based on what he owns and how he shows it off. Men also assess whether they would want a relationship with a woman by her environment and what she owns.

When it comes to our homes and personal spaces, we are often not intentional with what we do and we don’t take the time to analyze what our space and our belongings may be communicating about ourselves to others. Bringing consciousness to your home, space, and possessions can bring a new sense of intentional creativity to your life.

Specifically when it comes to love and romance, there are very simple steps you can take. Take for example: A bed with two bedside tables communicates that there is room for someone else in your bed and in your life, candles in your space signify light and romance. Art that you choose to hang or display in your home can uplift you and share who you are to guests.

Obviously this makes a very simple example of some very complicated principles, but by just applying these simple suggestions you will dramatically increase what you are communicating to your guests. In most of my life I have found that simple tips are all that we need. These tips helped me find more happiness in the romance area. Since most communication is non-verbal by making some simple changes we are communicating to the world our intention to have a partner, a happy home, and space that invites others into our lives.

Here are some fun and easy tips on how to apply Feng Shui in your personal abode, which will lead to positive outcomes in the rest of your life:

• Clear away clutter
• Buy new sheets that your ideal partner might enjoy
• Find an item or items that are symbolic of your intention (a small stone heart, images of couples, anything that conveys your desire for love and coupledom).
• Place different items in pairs around the home (two candles, two small quartz hearts, two little statues).
• Hang pictures or display art that inspires you
• Find a scent that speaks to you and keep it in your space (I personally enjoy lavender)
• Burn some sage. This is known as smudging and is traditionally used for clearing bad energy.

Try these tips out and send your responses.

Also, let me know what you like to do with your space to help create more romance, warmth and that inviting feeling.

 

Like elephant journal on Facebook.

Assistant Editor Bruce Casteel/Ed: Bryonie Wise