February 13, 2014

9 Ways To Know You’re On A Date With An Ayurveda Girl. ~ Kate Schwabacher



You finally got a date with the oh-so-radiant girl you’ve been eyeing who you always see on her way to her health food store/yoga class/meditation group.

1. Eats early.

“What time should I make the dinner reservation? 8ish?” you ask. “Maybe earlier, like 6:30, 7?” she answers. Don’t expect to get a movie in after btw, she’ll be falling asleep in her homemade turmeric-coconut oil popcorn.

2. Wears a scarf.

You pick her up: she’s glowing—is she even wearing any makeup? (Yes, it’s just all made of coconut oil & twig extracts.) And, she’s wearing a scarf. Doesn’t matter the weather—Ayurveda Girl is always prepared for the elements.

3. Orders hot water.

You arrive at the restaurant and you did your best to pick out the most local, organic, hippie-chic restaurant possible. They set down ice waters in front of you and you see her visibly recoil. “What would you like to drink?” the server asks. You order a beer, naturally. “May I have some hot water please?” she asks. “Do you want some lemon with your water?” “Oh yes, that’d be great! Thank you”

Ayurveda Girl will never, ever order an iced drink at dinner. Unless that is of course if it’s a cocktail with ginger, lime/lemon and served up, so it’s not technically iced—just cold. That, she can justify.

4. Loves cumin.

You watch her browse the menu with an examinatory gaze. Her eyes light up: “Oooo, cumin & blah blah soup, that sounds ahhmazeing!” Well done picking a restaurant with digestive spices on the menu! Digesta’ what? Don’t worry, you’ll soon know alllll about them…

5. Skips salads and steaks, goes for veggie sides.

You gracefully allow Ayurveda Girl to order first. She will, almost without fail, have a question about something on the menu. When she orders, it’ll be something with curry, or a soup, or a stew, or she’ll try to make her own stew out of all the cooked vegetable side dishes. Keep your cool, bro. Best to get used to this; Ayurveda Girl knows what she likes.

You are surprised she didn’t just order a salad, right? Ah, the beginning of an Ayurveda romance. Unless you’re taking her to the Bahamas or live in the deep south in the summer, you will hardly ever hear her order a salad for her main course. All that raw, hard to digest food, that would totally mess up her excellent digestion (her most prized possession, btw).

The other thing you won’t see her order: a t-bone steak. Or a rack of lamb. Ayurveda Girl might eat meat, but she ain’t doin’ a lot of it at dinner. You’ll have to take her to a mid-day BBQ to see that happen.

6. Eats really slowly.

Your food comes and you’re so hungry that you’re plowing into your food. You look up to notice Ayurveda Girl eats really, really slow-w-w-l-y. Like you can get through your starter and main and she’s still on the starter. She chews. And she talks. Then she breathes. Then she takes another bite and starts all over. And she’s probably cooing over how delicious the food is and picking out what spices they used. Ayurveda Girl takes her time and enjoys every morsel/sensation/bite/etc.

7. Keeps conversation positive.

Conversation has been flowing nicely but then you notice that as you’re launching into how much your boss is bugging the crap out of you, she suddenly changes the subject. “Am I boring her?” you think nervously. Relax, it’s not you dude. Ayurveda Girl keeps conversation positive at meals. You can moan all you want afterwards, but around the table, it’s all about the good stuff.

8. Skips fruit and sundaes. Dessert! Yes!

Ayurveda Girl digs dessert, but don’t think she’ll be sharing that ice cream sundae or fruit and cheese plate with you. Chocolate souflee, yes. Apple pie, sure! Cardamom thyme local goat cheese tart, oh my goddess yes! But anything icey cold or fresh fruit, that ain’t gonna happen. Ayurveda Girl rarely eats fruit with meals, and she definitely doesn’t eat it at the end of the meal. Oh heck no.

9. Gives great hugs.

It’s the end of the night, and you’re going to say g’night. While I can’t say if you’ll get a kiss or more, I can say that Ayurveda Girl gives a mean hug: not too long, but with some heart connection and she’s probably got some guns from all that yoga she’s been doing, so it won’t be weak. Enjoy it along with smelling her essential oil ‘perfume’ and paraben-free shampoo. Oh and nuzzling in that scarf.

Best of luck wooing this amazing lady!


This post is dedicated to my incredible husband who takes me to the fancy restaurants, loves that I always order hot water, and doesn’t mind our house smelling like curry. I love you, my carnivorous sweetheart!

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Assistant Editor: Ffion Jones / Editor: Bryonie Wise

Photo: Silas Bahr


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