“Compassion is not a relationship between the healer and the wounded. It’s a relationship between equals. Only when we know our own darkness well can we be present with the darkness of others. Compassion becomes real when we recognize our shared humanity.”
~ Pema Chödrön, The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times
Somehow, through the magic of time, we are given the grace of wisdom. It strengthens our awareness, our perception, our capacity to hold. With time, our hearts open and close through joys, pains and sorrows, as we bare witness to the tragedies and greatness of life. These expansions and contractions are vital pieces to explore for healthy and loving relationships with our Self and with others.
If we close off, we will miss the many gifts arriving. If we stay too raw and open, we can’t provide support, nourishment and stability for others, nor can we arrive at this doorstep ourselves.
The balance of this paradox is essential to heal and be healed.
I am a work in progress. Aren’t you?
If you are a healer, or on the healer’s path, you must admit and submit to the inner process, the ups and downs, ebbs and flows, the uplifting and the potholes; the play of shadow and light.
No one is perfect.
Holding space as a healer is a precious gift. A way to touch and be touched from heart to heart. Often I question if this is really the only reason we are even alive. To be a healer. And yes, to be healed.
You have a healer’s capacity if you are a friend, a partner, a teacher, a lover, a parent, a human.
We all have the capacity to give and receive. To honor or destroy.
Take a healer’s oath. Find strength when strength is needed. Find fragility when fragility is needed. Bring your presence and willingness to your relationships.
A Healer’s Oath.
As a healer, friend, a partner, a teacher, a lover, a parent, a human-
May I have the compassion to show up for my self and others in meaningful and nourishing ways, that help, that heal, that bring support and encouragement.
May I have the perception to know when silence is the best medicine and the kindness to be present to another’s needs, without my own personal agenda getting in the way.
May I have the heart space to love regardless of what is being projected towards me, and the self awareness to get my own needs met in healthy and supportive ways.
May I let my own wounds inform my life and actions, but not control or manipulate me, nor be used as a weapon against others.
May we all move towards greater and greater nourishment, support, holding and compassion, while giving ample room for there to be differences between us.
Let this list grow. Share your own additions below and let’s create an ever-growing and expanding oath together.
Healer to healer. Human to human.
Love elephant and want to go steady?
Editor: Renée Picard