July 4, 2014

“Becoming” as an Obstacle to Self-Fulfillment. ~ Conny Lechner



My intention, born out of the pattern of my thoughts, is to release the pressure of our urge to “become something or someone,” as I feel it is a common phenomena in our society today. As always I speak only of my own experiences and observations.

Saying “I have to become something in order to,” is limiting.

Speaking these words, or even just thinking them is limiting. “Becoming” automatically creates boundaries and ultimately attachment and is the end of self-fulfillment, or the realization of our deepest desires and capacities.

What does “to become” even mean?

Why society wants us to believe in “becoming something or someone in order to” is obvious if we dive deeper into this thought. Often, especially in the Western world, “becoming” is related to education. I am not talking about education in science, literature or mathematics, but rather the way we are educated about how society wants us to become and to be.

Sadly, most of us have learned in early childhood, how “important” it is “to become.” We have been taught to become something or someone in order to reach a certain social status that seems to provide a certain kind of security. However, we often forget that working towards security and then holding onto that security then causes the birth of many fears: fear of losing, fear of not reaching certain goals, fear of not being enough and ultimately fear of not becoming.

From an early age we are told to “function,” to follow rules and guidelines in order to become rich, famous, successful, a good wife, a good husband, etc. We are trained to follow the crowd. Ridiculously enough we believe that following certain crowds, systems and trends will bring us success, security and ultimately happiness.

We become more and more like machines and avoid looking right or left.

The young people who decide to not follow the herd, but rather take an exit, are seen as outsiders, rebels and lateral thinkers. Those who tried different kinds of drugs to escape from the system society wants to trap us in, were perceived as “problem children.”

Children that go against the mainstream are seldom accepted in the society. No surprise—it is hard to control free-minded beings!

Those who have experienced depression are seen as struggling with life. I know depression, but not because I am struggling with life itself, but rather with the kind of life society wants me to live. A society that shapes our minds and hearts and wants us to think in certain ways, a society that wants us to believe we have to “become”—a clever way to stir up fear.

Shouldn’t our mind be free of the preoccupation of “becoming in order to?”

Is that not our true nature?

Why do we want to deny our true nature?

If our minds are busy with becoming, we forget the essential.

What is behind all this “becoming?” What is the point of all this if we don’t understand where this “becoming” comes from and “who or what” is supposed to become?

“Becoming” is a critical issue in our lives, especially when we are young, and especially as “becoming” is so often related to fear. Enforce “becoming” and put it into relation with fear and human kind can be controlled.

But for the individual, fear means limitation, self-destruction, and, yes, even death.

“Becoming” breeds fear and fear does not bring about a clear mind or environment. Guess where is this world going? Women and men in fear can easily be controlled by society. The past and the present are the best examples.

For most of us it is easier to conform to what society tells us. It takes great courage to free ourselves of this force and step onto our individual path. We have to be brave and dedicated to go all the way.

We have to consciously decide to let go of our fears.

Imagine creating a world—not out of fear of “becoming” what society expects—but out of truly knowing that we are free of fears and no one, no society, can convince us we are not.



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Apprentice Editor: Kim Haas / Editor: Travis May

Image: Pixoto/Andrea Fast Scaramuzza




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