July 25, 2014

How to Love a City Girl. ~ Kristin Monk

Photo: Miroslav Petrasko

Being a city girl has nothing to do with living in a city, or even having ever seen a city.

You can be a city girl even if you grew up on a farm.

I did.

But I was always a city girl at heart.

A city girl sees a bigger world than the one she was born into. She knows that there are many types of people, and different flavors of life—and she can’t wait to taste them all.

She has a specific sense of style—not just in the way she dresses. It’s in the way she moves, in the way the sees, the way she smiles, the way she walks. Without a word, she tells the world exactly who she is—strong, expressive, open to possibility, and most importantly—her own.

To love a city girl, you must be ready for the vibrancy of her world. She doesn’t lose herself in the rush of the city, or its people—she is the the kaleidoscope that is humanity, as she contributes to its beauty.

A city is rough though, and so a city girl knows that she must be strong— have a strong will, a strong work ethic, and a fierce heart and mind.

Occasionally, a strong drink.

To love a girl like this you must be strong, as well. Strong enough to be your own, and strong enough to both respect her and support her, as her own.

Because the city girl is still vulnerable, while she is tough.

She does want you, and need you.

But she doesn’t want or need someone she has to carry through the streets.

She wants someone that will walk beside her—or, in the case of cities, dodge in and out of crowds, holding hands or belt buckles or simply sensing her in space, as you set out on another adventure or get to dinner or simply make your way to the park on Sunday for the Times and croissants.

To love a city girl is to appreciate two sides of a woman—the sophisticate that sips a martini at a work dinner and makes witty conversation, and the crass side that laughs so hard over a remembered Always Sunny episode that vodka shoots out her nose.

To love a city girl is to know that these women are the same… and to love her more for having more than one side.

For being many shades, many colors of the kaleidescope.

A city girl is never rude—if she is, cut and run. This girl only thinks she is a city girl. A true city girl is gracious to everyone she meets—bouncers, bosses, cab drivers, co-workers, and people on the street. Life is so full, and the opportunities of the city so rich, why skimp on smiles or thank yous or holding doors?

A city girl knows that the streets can be tough, and so she never undervalues the gentle, sweet things in life. She orders dessert, and her tongue makes love to each layer. Her coffee is sugared and black, and her hands caress the warmth of the cup as she inhales the strong aroma.

She presses her face into your palm, and stays a beat longer in bed with her hand on your heart.

Her real friendships may not be many in number, but they are deep; she loves them like family.

A city girl may be very busy, but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t stop to enjoy the world around her. With you. She likes to pause. A part of the joy of bustle of the city is the ability to stand back and observe, wondering about dreams and lives and directions and pasts.


Pause with her.

Make a world with her, in the bustle, where only you two exist.

Visit often, and find refuge from the busy, and the crowds, and the buzz.

And get lost in the kaleidescope that is your love.

To love a city girl is to accept and appreciate that life is always going to be a little bit more—the pace will be little bit faster, the wine will be a little bit richer, the meals a little more decadent, the kisses a bit more deep. Laughter will ring out louder, and joy will be felt on a greater scale. Hope will fill your heart, and hers, until you both burst with it, and it flows from your fingertips and sparkles your eyes and delights your mouth, a new life dawning in each stranger’s face.

Because this is the city, and here, all things are possible.


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Editor: Renée Picard

Photo: Shannon Patterson at Pixoto


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