September 14, 2014

What I learned from Joan Rivers.


When I began writing this, I was still praying for a miracle that she would awaken and tell us all about the pearly gates of heaven, having seen the light.

While it’s true we might seem unlikely friends, there’s a part of me that wished I was more like her—not caring what people thought and having mastered that quick, hilarious humor that Joan so boldly shared with us.

Having adopted her as sort of a mother-in-law, I always thought there would be more time to learn from her. This experience has continued to teach me about life and how precious our time here is.

The night I was going to meet the infamous Joan Rivers for the first time over Passover Dinner I was nervous, hoping that she would like me. All too often the ultra glamorous women I’d met had been equally as judgmental. I did my best to relax, probably drinking too much wine and not feeling calm or collected.

As the night progressed I studied the masterful way in which she effected everyone in her presence. For this star, the light was always shining and we were made to be greater, or at least better, than our normal self while in her presence.

As we formed our bond over time it seemed everything she shared was profound and I could write it all down. Some things private and personal, but every word worthy of being remembered in hopes of learning even just a sliver of what my fellow Gemini had to share.

I discovered the immense amount of attention to detail that went into every last thought to help create courageous brilliance.

Just one of her many gifts, Joan was an incredible host and it was always my plan to one day return the favor by preparing her a special dinner, raise the bar with my thankful gift sending to her and much, much more. Thank God she made it to the wedding and loved it. What’s most painful is the fact that I took for granted our tomorrow and I have realized how much of my life I have done that.

What else have we put off in our lives? Why do we assume we’ll always have tomorrow, next week, or next year to do something meaningful? Joan showed me that we must laugh and live without taking things too seriously, but most of all to go for our dreams, without shame or second guessing. Her passing feels like a fire at my center, encouraging me to not waste another day and realize the urgency that exists to be present, to be courageous, and to own every word/action I do. She raised the bar time and time again. So I want to take it all in, let it expand, for I suppose her teaching is complete now.

Life is long, if we connect to the eternal, but quite short if we are attached to the form of the body. During the miraculous time in it, just like being given the keys to a Tesla or perhaps a hybrid Ferarri, what we do in this spin around with our vehicle is up to us. Do we drive it too fast, or not at all? Do we keep it clean and well fed or do we abuse it? Are we a contribution of greatness to the streets or a hazard to those we come in contact with?

All these things and more are a yogi’s contemplations.  And as much time as we spend taking care of our car, there could be more time, strengthening our connection to what is not barred or stopped by form, yet instead, aligned with the infinite. Prayer, meditation and in-depth studies on what is formless and eternal is a great thing to prepare our lives and each other for.

I’ll love, admire, respect and forever will have you as a star in my eyes, heart, life and aspirations dearest Joan. Thank you for being you and changing the world times 1,000. Each drop of greatness you shared while you were here continues to be strengthened. I am deeply humbled by your fearless courage, wherever you are.

In Love eternally,



* Here is a video where I was interviewed by San Diego Living and talking about my relationship with Joan.



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Editor: Travis May

Photo: Wiki Commons

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