October 23, 2014

Freeing Ourselves from Limiting Thoughts.

chinese food box

I sat on my bed, surrounded by my journal, the residual smell of the Chinese comfort food and a decision that I didn’t want to make.

My dad told every other person on the street that I was in grad school. I was doing something with my life.

Whether or not that something was meaningful to me was debatable.

There was no getting around the misery of it all. I was stalling. Staying the same seemed so much easier.

Why uproot my life for the unknown when things were going so well?

After months of denying the inevitable, the truth finally made itself clear through a breakdown. I was pursuing a path that wasn’t mine. I had to quit grad school. In the final months of my excursion in higher education, I found the time and space to step into my personal power by examining the thoughts that led me to limit myself in the first place. What follows is meant to guide anyone who wants to confront limiting thoughts in a similar way.

Imagine a life where we can do whatever we want.

Our lives and decisions, free of limitations. In this life, we design and create at our own leisure. Think about the possibilities! Following our hearts would be a piece of cake. It’s our world and our life. Mistakes wouldn’t even be a thing because it’s our world and we are creating it.

The funny thing is, that visual is real. That’s life! We create our reality. We don’t have to be afraid of anything! We are all amazing vessels of talent and it will not only benefit us to live with less limitations. It will benefit the world.

But first, we must believe in who we are and what we can do.

I’ve never met someone who truly believed that they were without talents. I’ve met countless people who pretend that they are powerless. I’ve met even more who are afraid to proclaim their talents.

When they speak of their own limitations, notice how they have trouble making eye contact. People tend to do that when they’re lying. They lie by saying how they can’t. They lie as they blame situations and society for their own experience.

Why would they do that? Why pretend to be something they’re not?

Because it’s easy, that’s why. It lets them off the hook. When I say these things, I am not judging anyone. These words are a get out of jail free card. No one has to live in a prison of self doubt and self loathing.

“Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.” ~ Lucille Ball

Let’s go on a little journey inside of our minds. It’s going to be goofy, serious, hurtful and cathartic, but in the end, we’ll have more personal power to work with. Here are a few ways to open up to the beauty inside:

Taking Stock of Our Inner Beauty

Everyone is beautiful. This is because each of us holds the key to one unique portion of the beauty of the universe. What is it about each one of us that is remarkable? We find the answer to this in the things that come naturally to us. It’s in those things that we find hard not to do. Yeah, that’s when our beauty is showing!

Finish this sentence: I am beautiful because...

Identifying Our Bullies

We all have a few personal bullies. Their only purpose is to help us see our limitations and to make sure we believe them. Their names can be self doubt, self loathing, social conditioning, fear and many others. They have the most power when we don’t know that they’re there. So, let’s shine a light on these guys because they’re liars. They sometimes seem to have our best interests in mind. Fortunately, the liars are wrong. Limiting ourselves is not in our best interests.

When we question ourselves, we gain clarity around these thoughts. Who are my personal bullies? What lies have they been telling me? Who would I be without these lies? What is stopping me from living a life free from these lies

Reassigning the Bullies

Now that the bullies have been identified and addressed, it is time to ask them to take different roles in our lives. These bullies aren’t all bad. They just need a little guidance. Under our direction, they can become a helpful team.

Let’s take self-doubt, for example. Self-doubt is only trying to help by putting a realistic view on the situation. All self-doubt wants to do is protect us from failure. Unfortunately, self-doubt is misguided and tends to guarantee failure before we even start.

We can help self-doubt to guide us by asking it to become self awareness. With a little shift in perspective self doubt can start to help us understand how we react to the world and help us keep track of the stakes in any given situation.

Let’s give each of our bullies a new title and assignment. How will they guide us? Who will we be with their guidance? How can we make sure that the bullies don’t fall back into their old habits?

Get Life’s Answer Key

Life is an open book test. Our intuition has all of the answers. We can learn a lot from other people, but so much more from listening to the voice within. There have been times when we had a bad feeling about something, but nothing concrete to base it on. As time moved on, we found out that we were correct, but still had no idea how. This is the power of intuition!

This inner wisdom is present in us all. Listen to it.

Who would we be if we listened to our inner wisdom on a more consistent basis?

Imagine the Possibilities

Just for now, let’s shed all of our self definitions and everything we know about ourselves (i.e. “I’m bad at math” or “I’m a people person”). Become a blank canvas. Take as much time as you need to visualize that.

Once we can see ourselves as blank canvases, we can become new versions of ourselves by first adding a layer of power. Super potent, unrelenting, astounding power. Sit with that for a moment. Become a powerful person without labels.

Next, we add only traits that our wise inner self is excited to add to this powerful version of self. Don’t add anything just because it would be nice to have. Add only traits that excite you.

Now, we bring ourselves to life.

We are these powerful humans filled with traits that we truly love and admire. How would this powerful self walk. How would we interact with our family and friends. Think about how this new self would approach the biggest issue that you are facing right now.

That person is who we are. That is us. We are all powerful. The traits that we think would be incredible to have are already inside of us, even if only as a seedling. We have everything that we need inside of us right now. We have the answers!

We all owe it to ourselves, and to everyone that we interact with, to be our highest selves. Every person we will ever meet has an infinite amount of things to teach us.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our Light, not our Darkness, that most frightens us.” ~ Marianne Williamson



Love elephant and want to go steady?

Sign up for our (curated) daily and weekly newsletters!

Apprentice Editor: Alicia Wozniak / Editor: Emily Bartran

Photo: trekkyandy/flickr

Leave a Thoughtful Comment

Read 0 comments and reply

Top Contributors Latest

Keyara Fleece