November 29, 2014

3 Ways to Move from Hopelessness to Empowered.

positive self talk

Have you found yourself saying this “I feel so sad and depressed?”

Thinking thoughts such as:

I’m feeling down today.

I am so depressed. Nothing is working out for me.

Time is running out. I can’t do what I want to do!

Why does she have it so easy and I have it so hard?

I’m just not good enough. I will fail anyway.

Are you relying on other people to make you feel happy?

Do you look to fill your life with events and activities in order to feel better?

If you have nodded your head or answered “yes” to any of the above, suffice it to say your emotions are up and down. Some days you feel great but generally you are feeling low. You may find you are triggered with anxiety and those depressive thoughts sneak in.

I know. Because I have experienced some of these myself.

I felt powerless.

I was looking externally for things to make me feel better.

Where are you giving your power away?

Other People: Ielying on them for your own happiness or needing someone’s approval and acceptance or to be liked or to feel good enough?

These behaviours will have you people pleasing, wearing social masks and never really being who you are out of fear people won’t like you or accept you. It destroys your beautiful light.

Your own negative thoughts: the stories you play in your head such as “I can’t, I am not good enough, I will never, if only.”

 This style of thinking is dis-empowering, draining and completely unproductive.

Things which appear out of your reach: desiring more money, to lose 5 kg’s, to have more time or to change jobs. We feel that when we attain them, all our problems will go away and we will ‘finally’ be happy!

Feeling like what you want is too far in the distance, too unattainable and you can’t possibly get there so you feel helpless to change—that’s a recipe for depression!

All of these elements are stealing your energy, joy and happiness. Dis-empowered thinking keeps you stagnant and stuck in your circumstances.

The times when I have felt most down, unmotivated, sad, depressed and anxious are the times where the story in my head had become so loud that I felt helpless to change.

I perceived the solution was outside of me. I was looking externally and thinking that I needed X, Y or Z in order to feel happy with who I was or where I was in life.

Whilst you are in this emotional state – nothing will change.

So how do you get out of it?

1. Awareness

Get clear of the stories in your head (the negative thoughts you are telling yourself on a daily basis).

Understand the unhealthy behaviours (such as needing to be liked or feel wanted, people pleasing, laziness, procrastination).

Take the time  to note in your journal all the areas in your life where you are giving your power – both in your mind and outside of yourself.

2. Personal Responsibility

Yep! It’s time to own it. Until you own your stuff you can’t change it. Why? Because you feel like life is happening to you and this makes you feel powerless.

For example—you can’t do what you want because you need the money and your job won’t pay you more.

No more excuses my friend. No more blame. No more giving your power away to the things you ‘think’ you can’t change.

Own how you feel. Own your current results in life and look at how your previous thoughts and behaviours have led you to this point.

Own it! Accept it.

Now let’s change it.

3. Get Resourceful

Let’s make some changes in yourself and your life so you create different results. When you feel stuck, just do something. Anything! Momentum creates change.

Think about all the ways you can get yourself out of your current situation—whatever the story in your head. Get resourceful. You may not be able to change everything right now but you can make a plan to change everything in the future – by doing things differently today.

If a lack of money is your vice. My first question for you would be are you performing at your absolute best, going over and above your required responsibilities, in your role right now?

Chances are you aren’t. The law of increase states when you do over and above what is required you will be given more. Take care of what you already have—I guarantee more will come.

If you are not losing weight. Are you doing all you can? Are you eating well (all the time), exercising regularly, removing toxins through juicing, seeing a naturopath to get your hormones and bloods checked?

Can you see the pattern?

Do all you can with what you have and you will create change. No sitting in your excuses. Just getting results!

So start moving. Gain purpose. Have a goal and work towards it and most of all, ignore your negative self-talk.



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Author: Debbie Spellman

Editor: Ashleigh Hitchcock

Photo: flickr

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