In one of my favorite films,

one of my favorite characters says,
“Deserve’s got nothing to do with it.”

But as I sit here, writing at my computer,
I do wonder if Beyoncé maybe did deserve the Grammy.
Was Kanye right after all? I’m not sure, I haven’t
listened to either Beyoncé’s or Beck’s album in full,
so I don’t think I really deserve to have an opinion.

But what do I deserve? I’m a 26-year-old white male
living in Fairfield, Connecticut, U.S.A. I don’t currently have a job,
and I’m still living at home. The only thing I really do
with any regularity is read and write (and drink coffee).

I read and write every day, all the time, in fact. I like
Shakespeare, John Milton, W.B. Yeats, and T.S. Eliot,
among others. I try to write like some of the famous
poets I read, but I generally fail. Don’t I deserve, though,
an award, or grant or something for trying? I do try.
I try really hard. And I don’t have the studio backing,
the money, the general wherewithal that Beyoncé and Beck have.
All I have is an old MacBook that doesn’t work when it’s not plugged in.

Maybe I should just be grateful for what I do have. A home, family and friends,
And maybe I am grateful for those things. I am.

I suppose it doesn’t really matter if Beyoncé deserved the Grammy,
and I suppose it doesn’t really matter if I deserve anything either,
because I’m not really sure anyone deserves anything,
or at least it doesn’t matter what one deserves,
because in the end, what one deserves isn’t what one
ends up with. So why bother arguing about “deserves?”

Relephant read:

6 Ways to Get the Love We Deserve.

Author: Christopher Cadra

Editor: Ashleigh Hitchcock

Photo: flickr