We’re all tired of the same negative shit happening over and over again in our lives, especially in regards to undesirable states of being.

If we look back into our short, medium and even distant past, we’ll find some physical, mental and emotional aspects of ourselves which stubbornly persist, realities that we have for so long desired to change. We most likely said to ourselves way back then: “I’m going to fix this; I don’t want to live this way any longer!”

But is it fixed? No. Are we still living this way? Yes.

Why hasn’t it changed? Or better put, why haven’t we changed?

The goal might have seemed so complex that we didn’t know where to start. Maybe we just got lost in the daily grind. Laziness could have been a factor. Or we could have just lacked the knowledge and skills to really put an effective action plan into place.

Regardless of what the barriers were to accomplishing our goals, there are no excuses, no justifications, and no bullshit. We just simply didn’t achieve what we set out to do.

Once we take ownership of the responsibility, we become empowered. We accept that it isn’t life’s or someone else’s fault, it’s our choice if we succeed or not. That doesn’t mean that we look down on ourselves just because we weren’t vigilant enough to ensure its immediate realization, it simply means that we comprehend and value the liability we do have.

We have the power. We have the strength. We have the freedom.

Having a mantra like this can only be a good thing, as long as we don’t get too unrealistic about our goals and expectations. We’re not going to realize our desires overnight, for example, but we knew that already anyway. If we do however acknowledge what is possible, and that we personally can execute it, then we’re in the right mental and emotional space to get on with the job.

There are three steps to change or growth, called the Triple A Guide. First is an awareness of yourself and your goals, second is an acceptance of why and how to achieve those goals and third is the application of strategies which with the right commitment and sacrifice will see those goals realized.

We’ve at least had that first step covered all along. We had the understanding that something needed to either be removed or changed entirely. We even knew it both rationally and intuitively, yet we did nothing about it, or we tried to, but it didn’t happen so we gave up.

So for quite a while we’ve had an awareness of what we need, or want, but it was swallowed up by time and the pressures of life. But if you’re reading this, I’m sure those same niggling thoughts are chattering in the back of your mind, begging you to give them the attention they deserve.

Give them what they deserve; give yourself what you deserve.

In regards to a specific goal, there are one of two realities we’re after: either we desire a different internal state of being or a different external state of being. The inside relates to a state of mind, such as a happy, stress-free or peaceful mentality, whilst the outside relates to a state of affairs, such as bodily, relationship or lifestyle health.

(To create a different internal state of being, read my other article, How to get out of the Rut of Self-Harming Thoughts & Feelings. It’s self-administered psychotherapy 101.)

Ultimately, achieving the desire is the big step, yet there are many small steps in between. It’s those ones which count too, because without them the big leap cannot occur. This is why each small step is as worthy as the next; simply take each one as it comes with the view that it will lead to the big one.

That’s one small step for man, one giant leap for man’s mind.

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Author: Phil Watt

Editor:  Travis May

Photo:  Wikipedia