Chemistry, in relationships, is a chemical process that happens when there is a connection of energy between two people that sparks a reaction within their electromagnetic fields.
Chemistry causes the pleasure centres within the brain to engage, sending out overwhelming feel-good emotions and causing the craving and addiction that leaves us wanting more.
The trouble with chemistry though is that not all these attractions and connections are positive ones; they can be negative ones quite often too.
One thing we can fail to realise about chemistry is that the magnetic pull and attraction that we feel is not always a healthy one.
We attract and repel people based on the electromagnetic vibrations we send out and receive.
When our vibrations connect strongly to another person’s vibrations, we can then be magnetised to someone and it can be difficult to understand why—especially if our lifestyles or personalities are not compatible in the same way.
When we find energy that feels soothing, we bask in it and our soul feels warm and has a safe space to glow and grow.
Sometimes we are strongly attracted to energy that feels as though it is vibrating on a similar level, but it can have the opposite intent. We can be just as attracted to the opposite side of the spectrum as our own when it is vibrating as strongly as ours, although coming from a totally different aspect with an opposing agenda.
A classic example is someone who is vibrating strongly with love may attract someone who is vibrating strongly with fear, aggression or anger. We may be attracted to the similar levels of energy that are vibrating, but it will also feel like a tornado spinning us around and pulling us in, then catapulting us out with huge force that disrupts and devastates our inner—and outer—self as it does so.
When we have chemistry with someone many things disappear that would normally be in place such as judgement, trust, compatibility and superficial attraction.
We can find ourselves instantly and deeply entwined on an emotional level with someone who we might normally consciously choose to avoid.
Chemistry is what gives us that “love at first sight” or “I want to be with them all the time” feeling, however, it can have the total opposite effect and cause us to shy away from someone and feel repelled based on the energy waves that are radiating towards us.
Chemistry can also bring on feelings of lust, passion, infatuation, bonding, desire, romance and also all the opposites such as: dislike, contempt, fear, mistrust, confusion, annoyance—or they can cause us to have a complete disinterest in someone. All of these feelings are attached to the ego, our inner selves, and can often provide insightful and profound lessons if we choose to interact further and explore what is causing our feathers to be ruffled.
There are so many variations of chemistry and it is related to the energy that is given and received between the two people. The stronger the energy interaction, the stronger the chemistry will be. Similarly to why the term “spark” is used to explain the connection, the electromagnetic energy will feel as though it is sparking as the two people are drawn emotionally, mentally or physically closer.
Generally there are three types of chemistry: positive, neutral and negative. When there is a positive connection we will be deeply and powerfully drawn towards someone. A neutral connection is when we may find it hard to connect with someone on any level at all (almost like total disinterest), and a negative connection will feel like a forceful push-and-pull as the energies strike one another causing an intense reaction. The negative energy can often be mistaken for positive energy as the high intensity will have a similar effect on us.
We may often wonder if chemistry be created. Is it either there, or it isn’t? When we imagine chemistry as a constantly changing wave of electricity, it is very possible to think that as our energy changes, so will our reactions to other people’s energy too. If we are vibrating at a very low level, we may find it very difficult to have a spark with anyone. However, as we raise our vibration, our energy becomes more powerful and so too does its reaction with others.
It is also possible for a build-up of chemistry to occur. As our emotions towards someone grow, we will also have an increase in the chemical reactions in our systems. These chemical reactions have a direct effect on the energy levels that we are sending out, so as the emotions increase, so too will the energy levels increase. If the other person is also vibrating highly, the interaction will become more powerful and intense.
It is also possible to “fake” chemistry as we alter our mindsets to either allow positive or negative emotions to flow through us deriving from whatever it is we think about. For example, if we set our thought processes on loving feelings, we can allow love to radiate. We can send out whatever energy we want, however, the true intention behind the emotion may not reflect what we are sending out on the outside.
If we are unsure as to whether someone is “tricking” us with chemistry, we can use our intuition and trust how our energy is absorbing theirs. If there is constant friction, it could be that the motive for their energy flow is not a genuine one. It is impossible to be sure unless we use our inner guidance and trust what we are picking up.
Someone who is using trickery to exploit chemistry will also no doubt use trickery with words and actions. If we pay attention to the bigger picture and take words, actions and chemistry into account, we will have a far higher chance of figuring out what is true energy and what is fake. It is a concept not many of us probably wish to consider, as we often think, if we feel it, it must be true.
Depending on the other person’s agenda, they may use every trick under the book to cast us under a spell; it is our choice how open and willing we are to fall victim. It is essential to keep our minds conscious and in the present moment at the beginning of any new friendship, meeting or relationships so that we are not easily fooled and are aware of whom we are letting into our lives.
This is where the saying “love is blind” comes into play. We can be so mesmerised by our energy fields dancing with someone else’s we become unconscious to the true state of affairs. The chemistry that is fueling and intoxicating our bodies and minds will alter our perception and make things appear hazy and fuzzy, so we are under an illusion rather than seeing the authentic picture. We will ignore warning signs or just totally not hear alarm bells ringing as the chemistry takes primary place.
Relationships that do not have this high influx of chemicals in the early stages can often do extremely well and last far longer as both partners have a calm and rational mind to make decisions and judgements on whether the relationship could be compatible. They are then in a position to bond over mutual interests, similarities in lifestyle or attract a personality type that provides a balance. Than, as the emotions grow, so too does the chemistry between them, rather than burning and fizzling out when the two people realise there is nothing other than chemistry holding them together.
Very strong chemistry can also hold two people together that may not otherwise survive through the bumps and obstacles that may occur in the early stages of a relationship. The chemistry can also be responsible for a couple moving through the stages of a relationship extremely quickly as they feel a sense of “knowing one another” due to the strong bonds and attachments that are felt.
High levels of chemistry can make a relationship feel wild and like nothing on Earth as our system pulsates with chemicals and we not only have that heady and dizzy feeling around someone, we also feel a force pulling us closer.
We can stay in a relationship which we know is bad for us, or one which goes against our ethics and morals, whilst convincing ourselves that it must be “right” due to the thrills, highs and extreme emotional reactions we feel when we are around a particular person. Our behaviour can become irrational causing us to make decisions that with a clear mind we’d steer far from.
Quite simply the saying “love is a drug” is quite often true due to the amount of dopamine released when we are around someone we connect strongly with. The feeling we associate with love in the early stages is chemicals altering our state of mind. We can feel out of control and as though we just want to ride the waves to see where it takes us. An incredible feeling, but if we aren’t careful, it can also be a dangerous one too.
Chemistry is an opportunity for growth and can be our greatest teacher, it exists for a reason and it is entirely our choice as to whether we explore the feelings further and pay attention to the colourful journey it can take us on. We are attracted and repelled based on the energy we are sending out and receiving and despite feeling drawn in or forced away from someone, we have control over our choices, not the chemicals that try to convince us otherwise.
The most important thing to be aware of is paying attention to who we engage with and to not allow our emotions to make our decisions and take control.
Author: Alex Myles
Editor: Travis May
Photo: Flickr/Bui Linh Ngan