August 16, 2015

Advice From a Recovered Fearaholic.


Have you ever heard the saying, “Everything you want is on the other side of fear”?

Every time I got nervous about something I would think about that saying and it helped to push me forward.

The first time I remember putting it into practice was when my husband and I went to Zion National Park. There is an area there known as “The Narrows.” Well, the water was freezing cold, and while I was considering a journey down these narrows I kept thinking, “If I do this and something happens, I am stuck in a mountain with no cell phone. How would anyone save me?

I looked at my husband who was putting his shoes back on. He could tell by my face this was not going to happen. I quickly kicked my shoes off and said, “Come on.” He was in shock—and not from the freezing water. It was at that moment that I decided I was not going to be afraid anymore. I was just going to do things.

Recently, I was listening to someone talk about fear and what I started to realize is that everything that holds us back is fear. When that popped into my mind I had to write it down. And I really thought about it.

Everything that has always held me back was fear.

Where would I be if I hadn’t been living in fear? What would I be doing? How would my life look if I wasn’t worried?

Fear is really just a bunch of thoughts, maybe based on memories, stories we heard or were told, or maybe even based on some experiences. I can’t go back and redo any part of my life, but I can commit to living fearlessly.

During the time I was living in fear, I didn’t realize that 95 percent of it came from my current thoughts. It wasn’t real; nothing was happening to me, there was no danger. Fear is really to warn us about danger, or harm. It is a way to protect ourselves.

I soon realized that what my main fear boiled down to was failure, followed by judgment. How could I fail if I never even tried to soar? I then realized I could be judged either way, whether I did nothing or did everything. I finally had to decide that if I was going to be judged, I might as well try.

I used to be an incredibly anxious person. Looking back I think that most of my anxiety stemmed from trying to avoid judgment. I still get anxious sometimes when I put myself out there, but now I am so happy that I tried. Honestly, when I just do it, the rush is unbelievable.

Next time you feel that fear creeping in, ask yourself if you would rather look back and regret not trying, or look back and remember what a bada** you were. To me, that sounds like an easy question to answer—we all want to be a bada**.

This is how I get through those anxiety-provoking fearful situations:

1. I acknowledge that my belief is: when it’s my time, it’s my time.

2. I ask myself if I want to keep adding to the list of things I missed out on, or if I would rather create a list of all the amazing things I have done.

3. I also ask, “What is the worst that is going to happen?” Then I dismiss everything that is not a fact. For example, I am not a fortune-teller, so chances are anything I come up with is bull.

4. I imagine how I will feel if I walk away—and compare that to the rush I felt that day when I stepped into that freezing water. The freezing water wins every time.

Remember: You can always start small.

I believe the first step is the most important. After that we keep on reminding ourselves where we walked from. And before you know it, fear is no longer part of your life.



What it Means to Live Fearlessly.

We Don’t Have to Become Fearless.


Author: Cheryl Cyr

Assistant Editor: Hilda Carroll/Editor: Alli Sarazen

Photo: Ylmworkshop/Flickr

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