Although I address the dynamic as male and female, what I mean is the masculine and the feminine.
Men can be feminine, women can be masculine—we are also a mixture of both. In this article I’m going with the edge of the scale when I discuss the masculine and feminine spectrum by using the words male and female. Also, I know not all men and women think the same, my theory is just generally speaking…
For far too long there has been a myth that women are extremely complex creatures who are very difficult and complicated to love. Whilst, it is true, women are complex—by contrast they are very easy to love.
Women are fearless warriors who will ward off any predator to protect what is hers, but when it comes to love, she is tender and delicate and her sensuality aches to be desired—not just her sexuality. And yes, women are sexual beings who adore being f*cked just as much as they find great pleasure in making love. However, the road to a woman’s heart is found by connecting with her sensual side.
The thing with women is this: They adore the feminine, just as much as men adore the masculine. A woman loves womanly things, just as a man loves manly things. And this is where the frustration, confusion and disappointment often lies.
Women are very open emotionally. It is perfectly normal for women to have long and in-depth conversations with one another about all aspects of their lives. From emotional, mental, physical to spiritual—there are very few aspects of themselves that females find uncomfortable with discussing.
Men, on the other hand, are often free to talk about many areas of their lives, however—and this is where things differ slightly—men, generally speaking, do not feel as comfortable about talking through the emotional, mental and spiritual aspects with their male counterparts, as women do.
So, because women have been doing this their whole lives, and are totally relaxed with open and deep emotional conversations, men have not had the same opportunity and this aspect of a relationship can feel alien to them.
Therefore, when a woman is in the company of a man, she is well rehearsed with opening up and discussing intimately personal emotional feelings and sensations she experiences. Whereby, a man, who does not have the same levels of experience with deep conversation, may feel awkward and out of his depth, so to speak, and clam up and struggle to remain on the same sharing level.
A woman wants to cut open and dig inside the heart, soul and mind of a man, however, a man will very likely lose interest and turn over the channel on the conversation (or the TV) to focus on something else. The reason for this disinterest is often not that the woman he is with doesn’t interest him, it is just that this level of connecting is not his forte. He doesn’t quite get how women can become so enamoured with peeling back layers, analysing each emotional segment, pulling all the pieces apart just to put them once more back together again.
Men just don’t get it. At least, not in the same way as women do.
So, basically, in some ways, a woman wants a man to take the place of her closest and very best friends. She wants to be able to share the innermost dealings of her heart, soul and mind and she wants the man she loves to be intrigued, pay full attention and joyfully explore those with her—whilst also delving deeply into his own.
Now, I can imagine the look on a lot of guy’s faces if they read this. “Why? Just @#$!% why?” a lot of men will be thinking. Not that I can read men’s minds, I’ve just heard it so many times when it comes to enticing a guy into talking about emotional stuff. Eyes roll, or they half-heartedly join the conversation but escape it at the first opportunity.
Women have been doing this talking stuff forever—they love it! And, in their opinion, if a man loved it too—surely it would show how much he loved her. As in some ways, that’s what a woman wants—a feminine man. A feminine, feminine man. Not totally, every minute of the day, but when she wants to rip open her soul, she hopes her guy will want to rip his open too.
She wants a man to show her love in other feminine ways, like by painting her toenails for her, brushing and tying up her hair. She wants the man who will cry while watching The Notebook and one who will help her choose what outfit to wear. Women want men to “women up” not “man up.”
Because, if they do…it will “prove how much they love her!”
This isn’t to say women don’t want all the macho stuff—my God, women love that too! (So yes, I can see why men think women are complex!) But a woman doesn’t want the oily fingerprints over her white cotton dress, or the power tools and all of their little friends strewn all over the dining table for three days. However, she wants his help with fixing things and that’s not to say she won’t do all the powertool stuff too—of course she will. Women are in touch with their masculine side and a lot of women adore putting on overalls and getting stuff done. So, she wants a guy to sometimes get stuck into the feminine/emotional side too.
So, it seems a woman wants it all. Although. Not really.
A woman adores love and one way to show it is to communicate it—fully. So, guys, whilst women and men generally have their differences and we can’t be everything to everyone, we understand that the emotional depth a woman wants is not so different to what a guy wants—both men and women want love––it’s just expressed differently. Men crave the intensity and deepness of love in the same ways a woman does. Women just know how to talk about it better. And for longer!
So, to love a woman, to really love her, men can carry on just as they are, but, maybe just be more patient and try to understand women a teensy bit better. So, that when a woman asks a guy to lay out on a blanket underneath the stars with piano music in the background and then asks him to explain to her exactly what he’s thinking, feeling and what sensations are pulsating through his body, he should remember that he doesn’t need to find the perfect words, or talk in the form of poetry. She just wants to be loved. She wants the connection, to engage through conversation.
A woman wants to be intimate and understand a man, and she wants to share parts of herself too. And this, this soul deep stuff, is just one of the most important ways a man can take a little time to show it.
Author: Alex Myles
Editor: Travis May