August 19, 2015

What I Learned This Summer: F*ck Like You Mean It. {Adult}

 vintage writer newsy

Caution: adult content below! 


My soul was hungry.

I was tired, bored of the same old love affairs. 

I needed spice, I needed passion.

I needed to fuck.

The typical career path isn’t for me. The idea of a nine-to-five job leaves me feeling dissatisfied and anxious.

That is not the way I want to live nor the way I want to be loved.  

I’ve always dreamed of being a writer, working in cozy cafes, sipping on espresso, perfecting that grungy-yet-still-somehow-chic look, working on my laptop and creating magic with my fingertips. 

For the longest time this was just a dream, something I romanticized…but this summer, that all changed.

A friend of mine told me that “if you want to be a writer, then you need to write.”  

I nodded in agreement—I love(d) to write.  

I was new, fresh, completely inexperienced, yet foolish and hungry. I craved sharing my words with the world and was starving for creation—I just didn’t know where to start.  

When I saw an ad for the elephant journal apprenticeship program this summer, I knew instantly this was something I needed to do. When I received my acceptance letter I jumped right in.

Like a virgin, I had no idea what to expect.  

These past few months were a wild love affair, full of ups , downs, dates, crazy sex, romantic sex, a lot of quickies and some (ahem) real writing.

As weeks passed by and the apprenticeship came to an end, it hit me: I jumped into bed with elephant journal and writing is just like fucking. Here’s why:       

1. The more you do it, the better you get. 

Need I say more?

Do you remember your first time? Was it raw, unapologetic, awkward, curious?  

We all started off as virgins, and with practice we slowly become confident and bold in our expression. It’s important to always keep the memory of how good it feels to be connected…completely naked. 

That act of creation should always stay fresh in your mind with a yes give me more please, attitude running through your mind. 

2. You can’t always wait until the mood is right.

“He walked me over to his bed, candles flickering in the moonlight, the bed made fresh as he pulled me in for a deep, slow, passionate kiss.” 

This is often the kind of thing that is written, but mostly that’s not how it is.

Sometimes you just have to do it—fuck in the shower, on an unmade bed, or on the couch. Likewise, it would be great if every time we sat down to write the mood was perfect. Cozy cafe, cute bearded men, good espresso, set intentions, and your mind ready to go. 

Let’s face it, that doesn’t always happen, sometimes you have to sit down in your pyjamas and crush out an article—it’s called life. 

3. Sometimes it just takes a quickie.

Five minutes, no distractions. We’re both in the same room, tearing each others’ clothes off.

It might not be romantic, but hell is it exciting. 

Sometimes you just have to do it quick.   

Writing can be the same, short bursts of spicy, passionate writing can produce some amazing articles. You just have to go for it.   

4. Once you do it, there’s no going back.

Yup, that’s right no going back. Once you do it, it’s done. 

Be wise with who you jump into bed with. Don’t sacrifice your time and energy for a partner who isn’t going to treat you right.

Same goes with your writing, once you publish it, it’s out there for anyone and everyone to read. Be wise with your words and choose a journal that will treat you like your partner.  

Sometimes you try out different publications, the one you like might not be the first one you jump into bed with.

Oh elephant, I would definitely jump back into bed with you… 

5. It’s not always about the (ahem) finale.

Both writing and fucking are about the journey, the process. Although there is no harm on having your eyes set on the goal, we must also constantly remind ourselves of the joy and fulfilment the journey brings—that way there’s no disappointment.

Yup, writing is like a good fuck. It’s better to do it boldly, unapologetically and with everything you’ve got.

Do it like you mean it. 

Writing feeds the hungry, those of us who are starved for love, the ones searching for acknowledgement and understanding. It is the processes of stripping away fears and walls, and giving a full willingness to expose ourselves completely naked, over and over again.  Writing is for the vulnerable, the raw and the curious. 

The world is starving for your creations, you just have to do it. 

Enjoy the journey, take pleasure in what you do and never underestimate what you have to offer the world, if someone doesn’t see your value move on—you’ll find someone who does.  

So what are you waiting for?

Go ahead and start fucking writing. 


Relephant Read: 

Join Elephants Fall 2015 Academy

Get Off Your “But” & Write!

4 Things we Must Do to be Writers.

Sex, Kittens & How to Write the Best Blog in the World.



Author: Kara Bezuko

Editor: Renée Picard

Image: Deviant Art 

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