September 9, 2015

My Secret Weapon for Creating Little Big Changes.

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Warning: naughty language ahead!

Sometimes I think we set ourselves up for failure, or maybe we are secretly afraid of success.

I am terrified of both.

Lately, I’ve been trying to untangle those fears, believe in myself, be more positive, be more engaged in life and blah blah blah.

In all my glittering, grandiose attempts for change, I’ve been f*cking up all over the place.


Because I’m not perfect.

But also—all those pseudo-empowering statements are so goddamn vague:

To believe in myself? To be more positive?

What does any of that actually mean?

It’s overwhelming and empty, giving me no clear direction, so I end up going ’round and ’round like a curious kitten chasing her own tail.

But, all hope is not lost.

I have stumbled upon a transformational tool that can help us get our asses in gear and start making real change—today.

So, if you’re struggling or deeply frustrated or just want your life to be more delicious, then look no further: here is my secret weapon for creating change (cue epic-sounding music).

Actually, what I’m about to share is just a step-by-step process I’m learning in my life coaching class—but either way, it’s f*cking brilliant, and it can be your secret weapon, too.

Let’s start by making things a bit more practical, shall we?

Let’s set aside the overwhelming, vague bullsh*t.

Let’s take some deep breaths and bring ourselves right here, to this painful, beautiful, crazy moment.

Because when we are present, we see that change doesn’t have to be some big, overwhelming thing. It doesn’t have to be soul-ripping or drastic.

Transformation isn’t always about the big brushstrokes, It’s also about little dots and lines that we usually fail to notice.

Life is made up of tiny, fragmented seconds—little splinters of time—all teaming up to create the stained glass masterpieces of our lives.

I firmly believe that lasting change is written in the tiniest details and that subtlety is extremely powerful.

Let’s start small—because small isn’t small, at all.

Breathe—in and then out—at your own pace. Settle in for a few moments.

Take your time going through this exercise. And remember, you have all the answers you need.

What change would you most like to make in your life right now?

An answer will come; open your heart’s delicate ears and receive it, graciously.

Then, when you’re ready, consider this:

What would your life look like, once you’ve made this change?

Envision it. Taste it.

Experience it, in high definition color (pretty beautiful, eh?).

Take another nice, deep breath, and zoom in a little bit closer—’cause we ain’t done just yet.

What could you commit to doing, right now, to take one significant step towards that awesome change you want?

Don’t think, feel.

Feel excitement and possibility sweep throughout your entire body. Let it ignite you.

Then, create an action-oriented, practical plan to make this step happen. It can’t just be “I want to feel less lonely, so I’ll try to be around people more.”

That’s great, but also pretty meaningless—it doesn’t leave space for us to do anything, except feel sorry for ourselves.

Make it concrete. Real. Bold, yet achievable. Give a timeframe. Get really specific. Be accountable. This way, it’s not so easy to let ourselves off the hook.

Here is an action-oriented transformational statement—which also happens to be my sweet little goal:

“I want to meet new people, so starting this weekend, September 13th, I’m going to go to the local Farmers’ Market every Sunday at noon and strike up an awesome conversation with someone I don’t know.”


See the difference? 

Now, write out your own gorgeous, specific, action-oriented, transformation goal.

Breathe in the excitement of knowing that you are in control—that you are moving forward, in your own perfectly imperfect way.

And then baby—whatever magnificent step you’ve chosen to take, go do it.

No excuses necessary. Take a chance; a beautiful risk.

Do this for yourself. Commit deeply to your progress.

Once you achieve this goal, set another.

And another.

By making a few seemingly small changes, everything changes.

When it rains, everything gets wet.

Be the flower that blooms wildly under the steady, nourishing rainfall of transformation.

But first, start here.

Right here.

Right now.

You got this.



Relephant Read: 

What it Feels Like When We Change.


Author: Sarah Harvey

Editor: Rachel Nussbaum

Photo: Sarah Harvey

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