As we question our relationships or as they begin to dissolve, we may ask ourselves: What is our reason for leaving?
Is he/she a bad person? An alcoholic? Depressed? Did he/she have an affair? Does he/she have an illness? Does he/she have bad habits?
And sometimes, there is no reason at all except for the fact that leaving even crossed the mind.
Often, we use these action—affairs, abuse, control, manipulation—as our motive for wanting or needing to leave a relationship because then, in our rational minds, we have a reason. So we act on our desire for change in an unhealthy way instead of listening to what the heart is trying to say.
The fact that we are no longer happy in our relationships or we are no longer capable of cultivating love or we are unable to grow in the context of our relationship is reason enough.
Sometimes, there is no reason at all except for the desire to move forward—spiritually, emotionally, mentally or sexually—and the inability to do so within our current relationship.
Then we get angry and stop nurturing our self love because we think we are terrible human beings for wanting to leave without a reason, except for the fact that this is life and there is only so much time left to walk the planet.
We fight the fact that life is a natural, organic process and many situations and feelings are not to be controlled or manipulated, but embraced.
The same philosophy applies to relationships.
My yoga teacher and dear friend explained to me that relationships are like mangos on a tree. They take time to ripen and when they are ready, they begin to detach from the branch until they let go. Fully ripe, they fall to the ground. The mango never wishes to be back on the tree. It was a natural process.
Every relationship has its natural timing. Some relationships last days or weeks, some last months or years. Some last decades and others a lifetime. Not one relationship is better or stronger than the other.
There is no need to wish to be back on the branch. There is no reason needed to live and love the way you dream of living and loving. And if it crosses your mind and surfaces and calls for you to take action—to move, to change, to grow, to fall—do not be afraid.
The earth is always there to catch you.
Be this kind of human:
Author: Ashley Martinez
Editor: Katarina Tavčar
Photo: Elizabeth Ashley Jerman/Flickr