If there is one thing that brightens up the bedroom, or anywhere you are having sex, it is lightening up, taking yourself less seriously and letting go.
In just a moment I am going to reveal the secret sexual satisfaction formula, but first let’s play a little game that will lighten us up.
The sexual vocabulary game
You may think this game is ridiculous.
But I did it anyway, and am I ever so glad I did.
According to the Global Language Monitor, as of January 1, 2014 there are 1,025,109.8 words in the English language.
Most of these don’t belong in the bedroom, at least not during the heat of passion.
But I would like to expand your bedroom vocabulary just for the fun of it.
Do the following: Write random words on small pieces of paper. Keep them by your bedside.
Just before you make love each of you picks two pieces of paper. Read the words to yourself, and then, at some point in your love making use each word.
You can use them while you are stroking a thigh, between kisses, during a gentle back massage or whispered into a soft ear right before nibbling the lobe.
You can use words like big, or throbbing, or go!
But you can also wield words like albatross, philanthropy or agastopie. (Agastopie is a noun and it means the admiration of a particular part of someone’s body.)
Have some fun with this little game to make sex less serious, and expand your vocabulary.
Now, on to the secret sexual satisfaction formula.
The secret sexual satisfaction formula
There are three steps to the sexual satisfaction formula, they are:
Make a request that your partner can fulfill.
Let them know that they have fulfilled it.
Let them know how good it feels.
That’s the whole formula. Now, lets discover how it works by examining each step.
Step 1: Make a request that they can fulfill
The standard form for a request is: “I request that you do X by time Y.”
I request that you hold my hand now.
I request that you call me before the meeting tomorrow.
I request that we have sex three times before midnight Sunday evening.
While making a request it is important to include several elements.
You need to be responsible for the request, which you accomplish by using the word “I”.
“Do the dishes,” isn’t a well formed request. Not only is the word “I” missing but there isn’t a time frame. You need to add a by-when.
“I request that you do the dishes before you come to bed,” is a well formed request.
Making requests will empower your relationship. It will assist the two of you in making sure you know what is being asked of you. And, clarifying your communication outside the bedroom is very powerful foreplay: it helps you avoid misunderstandings, which aren’t the least bit sexy.
But in the bedroom requests don’t have to be well formed. Here are some examples of bedroom requests:
“Oh, a little faster please.”
“Move a little to the right.”
“Could you enter me now?”
Asking for what you want not only makes it likely you will get it, it also lets your partner know what you want and like.
Requests made liberally coordinates your pleasure. It spices up every aspect of sex and is much more likely to result in the two of you orgasming together.
Keep those requests coming. But don’t stop there.
Step 2: Let them know that they have fulfilled it
If they go a little faster, slide up a little, scratch your back, massage your feet, or suck your toes when you ask, reward them, by confirming that they have done what you asked.
Here are some examples:
“That’s exactly what I wanted.”
“Oh, thank you, you got it.”
“Yes, yes, yes!”
All of these confirm that they have done what you asked, and then comes the wild time.
Step 3: Let them know how good it feels
This is a simple step, but very important.
Express your pleasure:
“That feels so great.”
“That turns me on.”
“That blows my mind.”
All of these and many more expressions let them know how good it feels.
And really the point of making love is to exchange grand sensations.
The “feel good step” doesn’t have to be verbal.
Groan loudly, purr softly, or make the Tarzan yell. Get creative and learn the sounds other animals make while they are having sex. Try those sounds out for size and surprise.
One of the most enjoyable things to do is just give yourself permission to make any sounds at all. Loosening up your vocal chords relaxes your whole body. Heck, you might discover your inner opera singer.
The more expansive and various your expressions of pleasure the greater your pleasure. Go for it.
After the third step of the sexual satisfaction formula go back to Step 1 and repeat. Cycle through these steps all the while you are making love and you will experience the best sex ever.
With practice you will become a natural at sexually satisfying your partner and yourself.
In Step 1 you can also make a request of your partner about what they would like. Here are some examples:
“Would you like me to slow down?”
“Does that feel good?”
“May I touch you there?”
Make sure that your requests are specific. Asking, “What would you like me to do now?” won’t work, because it will throw your partner into a thinking tizzy trying to find the right answer. This isn’t a quiz show.
Cycling through these three steps works both in the bedroom and out. Here is an out of the bedroom example:
“I request that you take the garbage out tonight.”
“Thanks for taking out the garbage.”
“It really is nice to have the garbage out.”
And here is an in the bedroom example:
“Yes, please slide your finger in there.”
“That is exactly it.”
“That makes me feel so good.”
The secret sexual satisfaction formula always works, especially when combined with vocabulary sex.
My sweetie was straddling me, we were alternately heating things up, making requests of each other and following through with the secret sexual formula.
As we reached orgasm she spread her arms as wide as she could and said, “Albatross.”
I knew at that moment that I had found the right formula and the right woman: I have never laughed that hard at such a moment.
Just because you are having the greatest pleasure of your life doesn’t mean that you need to take yourself seriously: in fact, it usually means that you aren’t.
BONUS: Enlighten your sex life:
Author: Jerry Stocking
Editor: Travis May