My sixth sense quietly whispers that you are out there searching for something you have not yet found.

You’re longing for someone a bit quirky and complicated who challenges everything you think to be true about yourself and life and causes you to let go of all the others who steal your heart for the moment, but still leave you a bit unsatisfied.

You have to want someone who has been in a few car wrecks. Whose engine is not in perfect order or exterior quite as shiny and new as it used to be.

Your heart has to desire someone whose passion has been stuffed down deep inside her soul, aching to be uncorked by just the right man, with just the right touch.

You must want this woman to be intense and a bit serious. Someone who looks at the world deeply and profoundly, trying to figure out all of its mysteries and how we all somehow fit together.

You must want her to be independent and driven—a woman who loves to travel and explore the most hidden parts of the globe.

But you must be tender, honest and open-hearted. She must be able to trust you with her deepest secrets and sometimes shameful past.

She will need you to hold her more often than she asks, for she doesn’t yet know how to ask for the love and affection she needs to feel safe again.

You cannot scare easily when she erupts in anger at some trigger from her past you have yet to discover. You must be willing to stay the course—push her beyond her willingness to look at herself and take ownership for her own wounds.

She needs you to not make promises you cannot keep or vows you intend to break. For her, trust has already been shattered and she’s looking for someone who considers his word and his integrity to be some of his greatest strengths.

When you want to be intimate with her, understand she needs to wait. For there have been others before you who have taken her for granted and not treasured that most sacred part of her.

When that time comes, she wants to feel you are fully present with her. That the only thing in the world you want to be doing in that moment is making love to her.

Do not ever make her feel that she is competing with someone from your past or someone who may come in the future. She is not a woman who competes, but one who now stands in her imperfections and wants to be accepted and loved for all she is and all she is not.

You must love good wine, adventure, dancing, rowdy Italian families, spirited kids who jump in bed early on Saturday morning and deep, soulful conversations about the meaning of life and our place in it.

You must be prepared because loving her won’t be easy. Her walls are high and her armor thick. Her life experiences may sometimes cause her to be more cynical than you’d like.

But with the right lover—the one who sees beyond all this, stays the course, knows himself and knows her even on the days she claims to not know herself—she will open like a flower who has been tightly closed waiting for the rain.

And she’ll be more beautiful and radiant than she ever was before.

 

Relephant read: 

A Letter to My Future Husband.

I’m Always Late, Figures you Would Be Too: A Preemptive Letter to “The One.”

Author: Dina Strada

Editor: Nicole Cameron

Image: Mariana Amorim/Flickr / HernanPinera/Flickr