Breathing in and

breathing out,

I sit in the cool stillness of the dark,
tilting my head
to look
at the stars,
seeing their light
is
my now,

but it’s an old sparkle,
a story of luminescence that has since
refracted
through the icy cold
of tonight’s sky
into my eyes,

and onto my lips,

breathing in and
breathing out,

remembering the lies told
about love and lightness,
and the promise of eternity
wrapped around my finger
is distracting

my breathing in,

breathing out,
breathing in

cold air numbs my mind
as I try not to think,

but I do,
recalling how the creation of a galaxy is fueled
by gas clouds collapsing
under their own weight,

formation comes at the destruction

of every single cloud into one
new ball of light,
that I see on this dark night,

breathing in and
breathing out,

I capture my thoughts in my palms,
and say outloud, “what if,”

what if
relationships began in this way

an explosion of golden energy that becomes one,
but our loves don’t;
instead, they tend
to end in this way,

dissolving under the weight of each other’s
fires burning too hot until
the flame cools to embers of memories
like stars
sparkling
in the night’s sky
of the cool stillness
in my now

breathing in and
breathing out

the

what ifs.

 

Author: Jessie Wright

Editor: Catherine Monkman

Image: GuillaumePreat/Pixabay