“Imagine meeting someone who understood even the dustiest corners of your mixed-up soul.” ~ Unknown
I can tell you think you’re interested in seeing what beats beneath my beautiful surface—but first, there are a few things you should know.
I don’t know how to be “normal,” and even when I think that I’m trying—somehow, I still end up burning just a little too hot to the touch.
But the thing that has always confused other lovers is that I don’t need you to be like me—I only require that you let me be myself.
Just like the most ethereal of butterflies, I will ask that you please do not touch my wings—and instead, allow me to flutter around you, reminding you that sometimes the freer a woman is, the closer she will venture.
Because anything worth having won’t ever have to be captured or forced.
It may seem at times that I’m not interested, but it is only because I need a man who appreciates that sometimes a woman still enjoys being pursued.
I’ve felt the artificial attention of those who enjoy the game so much, I need to see that this time—you are a man who has no interest in playing with my heart.
I have to let you know that I am a contradiction, but I know for the right man, my mix of sunlight and moonshine will only further his interest and not overwhelm him in a quest for definitive answers.
Above all, you should know that this time I need to go slow.
I have a bad habit of wanting to delve to the depths without even testing the waters, but this time I know myself well enough to realize I need to wade in slowly, learning that it’s okay to take our time.
The thing is that I am interested too.
I don’t have my curiosity piqued easily, and so I know that there might be something special about you.
But that doesn’t mean that anything will come of this.
I have had enough promises from men to create gardens of hope in my heart, yet each one has let the blossoms wither in their absence.
It’s not that I think you are like all the rest—but the truth is that I need time to see that for myself.
I won’t judge you for their past mistakes and inability to step to a woman like me—but I also need to see your effort.
One of the aspects about myself that I love the most is my delicious sensuality, but it is also that aspect of my soul that has gotten me in trouble in the past.
Because I enjoy exploring the physicality between myself and a man so much, I tend to rush into it without worrying about what will happen in the morning.
I am attempting to have more control over my desires—because I want to get to know a man before he touches my body.
And I want that man to fully know me enough to know whether he wants to wake up with me in the morning or not.
I am not up for a one night stand.
Although I love sex—I need more this time around.
It’s not that I need you to promise your undying love—but only that you are committed to waiting to stay for the first mornings light.
It’s important to me that you see me for the woman I am—and that you appreciate that just as much as the way my naked body will move against yours in all the right places.
I know now that I am more than just a vessel for pleasure—I am a woman who deserves someone amazing.
I treat a man exactly how he indulges me, sometimes even better.
It’s not just about treating me like the queen I am, but also about me handling you like the king that you are as well.
Because no aspect of a relationship can be one-sided—we always have to give as much as we hope to get in return.
I don’t know how long this will play out, but one thing you should know is that I am a truth seeker.
I will be honest no matter what—and sometimes to a fault.
This means that I expect the same from any man who dares come close enough to feel my hot breath upon his neck.
It doesn’t matter if it’s sweet and pretty or dark and tasting of nightmares—but what does matter is that you never shy away from the real.
I have spent a long time making peace with my past, so that I can enjoy the fruits of my future—and although I won’t rush you on your journey—I do need you to respect where I am at.
Because the thing is—Baby, I’m gonna change the world.
Ambition is sometimes my only nourishment, and while I don’t expect you to taste your dreams exactly the same way, I do need you to never want to squelch my appetite for more.
If you are going to step to me and decide to see where this goes, it also means you’ll have to let me go at times.
I won’t ever be kept close like a prized pet, nor will I live my life living up to the expectations of others.
I’m maddening sometimes, this I know—but the thing is, I don’t make apologies for the woman I am.
I love myself enough now, that I I simply want to state: this is who I am—and I want to be clear about what I need from any man who thinks he wants to join me for a while on this crazy uplifting ride we call life.
I know that it’s going to take just the right man to see that—but if that’s not you, that’s okay too.
Because whether you take it or leave it—I’m still amazing.
Author: Kate Rose
Editor: Yoli Ramazzina