February 8, 2016

For the Men Who Give All the F*cks.


Warning: Plenty of naughty language ahead!


Recently, I overheard two women talking.

“That’s a lot for a Dad”, one said—referring to a man being responsible for getting his three kids to school on time in the morning.

The tone was undeniable—dismissive. This attitude is widespread amongst women.

I’m here to disagree. I am married to a man who brings as much to the family table as I do, and I know there are so many more of you out there.

This is for the men who give all the fucks.

The men who show up without being asked, who stay up even when they’re exhausted; the men who put the fucking seat back down when they’re finished.

The men who have fierce respect for their mothers, and wouldn’t be caught dead having her do their laundry—or paying their bills.

This is for the men who know that choosing a strong woman full of magic can sometimes mean choosing a challenging life but they do it anyway, because there is no greater gift than to partner with a daring, courageous heart.

The men who believe in inspiration as well as integrity, and model those qualities for their children.

Who aren’t too old, too tough, or too busy to stop, exhale, and play.

The men who teach their daughters to handle the same rifle as their son, who teach their son to do laundry alongside their daughter—because they do not believe that gender comes with assignments and limitations.

The men who tell their friends, their family, and their children that no one will disrespect their partner.

Who don’t hide behind organized religion or political party, or look to society to guide their moral compass. They know their compass. They are the compass.

The men who can love with great power—and great vulnerability.

The men who love women, who love men, who love men who love men, who love women who love women…because it is all love, and it deserves to be recognized and celebrated.

Who aren’t afraid to take off their clothes in front of a woman and be naked, in body and in soul; who can stand and take in their partner and say “we are perfect together.”

The men who believe that starting the conversation is the gateway to everything. Who would rather disappear alone to the mountains than sit at a bar or in front of a television.

The men who run to open the door for the elderly.

This is for the men who would burn before they brought drugs into their homes or exposed their children and partners to abusive, addictive behaviours; who believe that there is no excuse for smoking weed when you’re 35.

The men who see with their souls and not just their eyes.

For the men who can stand in the uncomfortable places, and be asked the hard questions, and not run away or turn to bullying and name-calling.

This is for the men who will never bully a woman. Or another man. Or God help us—a child.

The ones who are willing to say a resounding ‘”no” to sexism, racism, and hate while standing in a circle of their peers.

For the men who give up what society says is normal to support a woman while she climbs the ladder or launches a business and takes care of the children and do the dishes and clean up dog shit in the yard—because being a partner is more important than being a breadwinner.

This is for the men who believe in serving something greater than themselves.

Who live to protect. Who die to protect. Who offer themselves in the service of their family, my family, and your family. Who offer themselves in service of you, so that you might be free.

The men who believe in protecting the forest and her wildlife over trophy killing and sport. Who can stand on the mountaintop and scream to the heavens, and feel an answer radiated back to them.

The men who love a glass of wine, a dark beer and a mystery chocolate milk creation from their five year old equally.

This is for the men who were born to create things—and refuse to be silenced. They create because they must; with their minds, their hands and their words.

Who are warriors for love.

This is for the men who believe in imagination. In the Second Amendment. In organic produce, old trucks and dance parties in the living room.

This is for the men who swing an axe for exercise instead of wearing color coordinated outfits at the Crossfit gym.

For the men who believe in hard work and harder play: in relationships, in parenting, in business, and in the bedroom.

This is for the men who aren’t afraid to create something from nothing and go wildly in a new direction where there are no guarantees—except that of a great adventure.

This is for the men who give all the fucks.

Who give a fuck about where we are today, and where the world will be for their children and great-great grandchildren. Who give a fuck about equality and compassion for every single member of humanity—regardless of race, gender, religion, sexual preference, physical appearance or disability. Who want to know about what they’re made of on the inside.

The men who are loving strong, living fully, and daring greatly.

May we know them. May we raise them. May you be one.


Author: Heather Gallaher

Editor: Sarah Kolkka

Image: DavidGoehring/Flickr

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