February 3, 2016

Thriving instead of Wallowing: A Single Person’s Guide to Valentine’s Day.

Gaurav Mishra/Flickr

It only takes a quick stroll through the grocery store to see that Valentine’s day is upon us—the cards, the flowers, the edible underwear, the profits for card companies, oh my!

Valentine’s day is supposed to be a special day to celebrate love, but for many it can be a painful day. I’ve been there. I’ve been the girl crying because I felt like no one loved. I know how painful and infuriating it can be to watch others shove their happiness in your face.

February 14th, 2016 will be my fourth single Valentine’s day in row. I’ve been single all the other days in between as well. But this Valentine’s day will be my second year in a row of thriving instead of being angry and bitter.

This year, I once again refuse to mope around in the sadness. Yes, I am single. Yes I am single by choice. This year I have decided to spend this wonderful Sunday thriving instead of wallowing.

Here are my tips and plans for a happy Valentine’s day without a significant other:

Sleep in.

Ah, sleep. Social media will be covered in posts from people talking about how wonderful it is to wake up in their loved ones arms. Sure that is nice, but we know the truth. Falling asleep in someones arms is horribly uncomfortable and both parties are bound to have multiple limbs fall asleep.

Stretch, spread out, sleep like a starfish. Your bed is yours and yours alone. Hog the covers, sleep with all thirty of your throw pillows or, if you’re like me, that wonderful body pillow you’ve been in an exclusive relationship with for 10 years.


Since Valentine’s day is on a Sunday, this year I will be heading to the Tibetan Buddhist temple in my town for a guided Green Tara meditation and Dharma talk. Meditation is a great way to set your intentions for the day and clear your mind. Youtube has many guided meditations if you are not sure where to start.

Buy a potted plant.

Cut flowers die, potted plants live forever! Well, potted plants live a long time if you give them the proper mixture of sunlight and water. Plants also improve the air quality of your apartment and add cheer.

Bonus points: plant a tree. Well, maybe give the tree a fighting chance and wait until spring to plant.

Take a social media break.

Depending on where you are in your journey to loving yourself unconditionally, social media may ruin your day. Valentine’s day is the most popular day to post an engagement online. Think about how you feel when you see an engagement announced on Facebook. Do you feel angry, unloved or sad? It may be a good idea to stay off social media today.

Remember, many studies have shown that couples who share every detail of their lives and look perfect on Facebook are hurting inside.

Or post loving messages & likes on every love-y dove-y post you see!

I will be wishing each and every couple well on Valentine’s day. Through mediation and selflove I have gotten to a very wonderful place in my life where I celebrate love instead of being bitter.

Engaged? You get a like! Photo of flowers from your boyfriend? You get a like!

Watch a sappy romantic comedy (or anything else that makes you laugh)

I love to laugh. Some people may think I laugh way too much. My evening will be spent on the couch wrapped up in fuzzy blankets with take out and a bottle of wine. It’s like date night for one, except better. I know I will be sleeping with myself tonight, and the next night and the night after that.

Do whatever makes you happy!

The best part about being single is not having to compromise on anything. If you want to go camping, you can go camping. If you want to read a book, you can. There is nothing holding you back from having the time of your life this year.



You Don’t Need a Man: 30 Inspiring Self-Date Ideas.

You Don’t Need a Man: 30 Inspiring Self-Date Ideas.

Alone? In Love? In Lust? This Valentine’s Day Gift Guide is for (all of) You.


Author: Olivia Morrigan

Editor: Katarina Tavčar

Photo: Gaurav Mishra/Flickr

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