March 9, 2016

The Vows I Never Made to Myself.

woman smelling flowers, enjoy, accepting gift

Weddings are a beautiful thing.

The way human nature allows us to find a significant other to share our life with and devote ourselves to goes beyond me. My favorite part of any wedding I have to say has always been the exchanging of vows.

In that moment, you are looking into this frame of one’s relationship in the most intimate way imaginable. For just a moment, you are consumed with their love, as you feel it so deeply through the words they are exchanging and the commitment they are making to one another.

“I take thee, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part.”

Weddings also do that funny thing where they make you utterly aware of your relationship status at every instant. From the moment you enter, and predominantly when you’re leaving the reception, you are aware of your current stance with love. For those of us who are single, we secretly long for this idea of eternal love. For that one day when it will be us standing at that altar, living out our modern fairy tale with someone our heart calls the one.

It also makes you wonder if you’re ready to make such a big commitment to another person.

How are we ready to give our all to someone else and make these endearing commitments for life, when we’ve never made the same commitments to ourselves? In fact, how often do we even think about the commitment and relationship we have with ourselves?

Let me be clear when I say investing in the relationship you have with yourself won’t take away from finding your “true” love or being able to give yourself completely to another person. Nor will it take away from the love you give to others in your life on a day-to-day basis. In fact, I think it’s something we must make a part of our daily lives if we want to give the best of ourselves.

I mean seriously, how can you be your best self if you don’t know or care to know who that person is?

It’s time we take our vows, for ourselves.

These are the very words we should be repeating to ourselves over and over again until we fully grasp the meaning of them and allow ourselves to believe them. Now repeat after me:

“With this verse, I vow to myself, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death makes me part.”

That didn’t feel as weird as you thought it would right? That’s because we should have made this commitment to ourselves a long time ago.

To me, these vows mean that we owe it to ourselves to accept us at our best, as well as at our worst. They mean continuing our lives and achieving our purpose in this lifetime at our richest, and our poorest. To remain strong, have faith, and believe in ones self in sickness and in health. Lastly, they mean we must love and cherish ourselves until death makes us part.

Know you deserve to have your own back, to be your own support system, and to be your own guiding light in this life. In fact, it’s the largest responsibility we will ever bear, whether we accept it or not, till death makes us part.


Author: Colette Zakarian

Editor: Catherine Monkman

Photo: Danielle Marroquin/Unsplash


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Colette Zakarian