I’ve been a salsa dancer since I was 19 years old.
I’ll never forget the first night I began salsa dancing—I went to Casa Verde, the hot sweaty night club in Quetzaltenango, Guatemala to take my first salsa class. I was hooked.
I’ve been a dating coach for over 9 years, and currently I am single and dating again.
The other night, as I was blues dancing (my other favorite dance style), I realized that the qualities that make a great dance, also make a great date.
What if the magic, connection and chemistry of a great dance on the dance floor could be felt on the very first date—isn’t that what every single man and woman wants?
These three qualities are what make a dance unforgettable—just like a great date could be:
1. Presence. When you are on a date, just like when you are in a dance, truly being present with the person in front of you—and being present to your own sensations, surroundings and impulses—makes you irresistible. When you are on a date or on the dance floor, if you are thinking about your day, or all the reasons why this person is not “the one,” you leave the room energetically. This is felt by the date/dance partner, and creates disconnection and a lack of presence on their part as well.
Instead, if you approach the dance with awareness and presence in your heart, body and mind—magic can happen! Bringing that same presence to the date creates chemistry, adventure and curiosity—the stuff that invokes love, passion and synchronicity.
Tip: On your next date, take a couple of minutes before the date to get grounded and present. Breathe into every single cell in your body. Let go of anything that no longer serves you from the day, and commit to being in the here and now for the next several hours.
2. Body Awareness. This is essential on the dance floor and on a date. When you are internally aware of your felt sensations—whether it is tension in the belly, heat in the sexy parts or cool air on your cheek—you effortlessly give off a vibe of internal connection and body presence. When your dance partner moves your hand, it’s felt—and that touch may create a sway in your hip. The spontaneous movement comes from the internal connection and body awareness—the music, the movement in your body and the connection to the other flows.
When on a date, having body awareness is essential. How you are sitting in space attracts or repels. When you sit up straight you look more confident. When your date is ending, with body awareness, you can feel in your gut if it is the right moment to kiss someone. If you are on a date and your body tells you to run the other direction, take note. Your body language and your body awareness are all speaking volumes about the way you feel about yourself, the other person and the way you interact with the world. Body awareness is sexy and essential. Period.
Tip: On your next date, notice how you are sitting—if you are in your body (aware of your felt sensations and feelings) and if your body is open or closed.
3. Openness for Connection. We all crave connection. Human connection is deeply satisfying to our souls, our hearts, our bodies and our spirits. We are made for it, and one could argue we cannot survive without it. On the dance floor, when you walk out with your dance partner—you can be open to the other person and open to being transformed by the experience, or you can be closed-off, tightly wound in your own world, largely defended and rigid.
When you walk on the dance floor with an open heart and soul, there is a possibility of being deeply moved by the experience. Your openness brings out the other person’s openness. On a date with a potential mate, your openness to be real and vulnerable—and to connect and share—directly corresponds with their ability to feel you as a real person they could possibly have a connection and relationship with.
Tip: Before your next date, check in with your heart, mind and spirit. Is it open to real connection? Is it open to being transformed by the date? If it is—great! If not, take a couple of minutes to connect, and allow yourself to open energetically. Take a deep breath, and allow your heart and your body to relax and open—even a small opening can make a huge difference in terms of your ability to connect with the person in front of you.
Here’s to you enjoying the ride of this beautiful life—with your heart, body and spirit open, present and aware.
Author: Maya Diamond
Editor: Yoli Ramazzina
Photo: Flickr/Pedro Ignacio Guridi