April 9, 2016

On Living Intentionally (a.k.a, Actually Giving a F**k About Your Life).

woman breathe melancholy sad

What does happiness really look like?

Have you ever stopped to think about it? Really think about it.

There were so many years that I said, I just want to be happy. Not that I considered myself to be unhappy, but in general I was open to receiving more happiness. I was perfectly content with whatever level of happiness life chose to deliver to me. I was totally satisfied living unconsciously. I never realized there was an alternative so there wasn’t much to be unhappy about.

I notice during that time I had not learned the lesson of intention.

I was living my life and allowing it to happen to me. Grazing through my world of materialism happy with mediocrity. I didn’t put intention into any of the important things. My intention was focused on my career, the attainment of status, and acquisition of material wealth. I had a nice house. I had a nice car. I had a nice life. But at the end of the day I found myself exhausted—completely exhausted, both mentally and physically.

So I would zone out in front of the TV for marathons that would last up to three days every weekend.

I spent my “free” time zombified and my “work” time looking forward to my “free” time.

It never occurred to me that I had a choice here. I’m a perfectly intelligent human being with street smarts and yet it still never occurred to me that I had a choice in how my life was designed.

And I know I’m not alone.

I was going through the motions of life waiting for another day to appreciate it. Some call it not giving a f**k as if that is the key to being happy. On this I must respectfully disagree. While there are things I don’t give a f**k about that no longer serve me there are plenty of things that I’m finding are worth giving a f**k about. It’s pretty simple actually…I give a f**k about my experience here on this planet and I’m tired of waiting. I want to enjoy life now. So now I live with intention.

I have increased the level of intention in all areas of my life with one purpose—more love. I want to love more of my life with every day. I know it may sound funny, but the number one shortcut to loving more of life is to just—well—love life right now. To stop waiting.

When I started parenting with the intention of having authentic relationships with my children based on love I noticed that I am an amazing mother who loves designing learning experiments with intention. When I started exercising with the intention of seeing what my body was capable of I found myself in the middle of this amazing cycling community with people who help each other achieve greatness with intention. When I started eating with the intention of fueling my body I found foods that are designed to fuel with intention. When I started picking restaurants with the intention of having nutritious amazing food I noticed I stopped eating fast food and started finding amazing hole in the wall places with people who cook with intention.

When I designed the spaces in my home with intention, I noticed I fell in love with my home and started using my spaces with intention.

Intention. I am happier than I have ever been because I set the intention to be happy. I am healthier than I have ever been because I set the intention to be healthy. I am more full of love than I have ever been because I set the intention to be full of love. I have the most loving and authentic relationship I have ever had with my children because I set the intention to have a loving and authentic relationship with my children.

Intention. Is. Everything.

When I was living unintentionally I was watching life breeze by in a body that was overweight from eating to deal with the emotions I didn’t want to feel that stemmed from an overwhelming sense of anxiety that I was going to somehow fail at being the best version of me. I was living unintentionally while trying to set the intention to be the best version of me. Well that just seems silly.

So now I set the intention to be the best version of me. And so I am. I look at every choice as an opportunity to up-level my experience, whether it’s the kind of coffee I’m drinking, the shoes I’m wearing, the song I’m hearing or the people I spend a lot of time with.

And I use a feedback loop so it keeps getting even better and better. In every experience I ask what really works for me? What would make it better? It is a simple feedback loop I call (plus EBIs) that I am intentionally using to design my ultimate human user experience.

An experience where I am in love with life. Where I am surrounded by people who are in love with life. I set the intention for a mind-blowing human user experience that is designed with intention.

And so it is done.





Relephant Read: 

The Happiness Choice—When “Staying Positive” just doesn’t Work.


Author: Nichole Kelly

Editor: Renee Picard / Assistant Editor: Ellie Cleary

Image: Natalia Drepina/Deviantart

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