May 31, 2016

If I say Please, will you Stay?

flickr/Christopher Gonzales

“The best kinds of people are those who come into our lives by accident, but stay on purpose.” ~ curiano.com  

Sometimes there are words that we can’t speak and decisions that seem impossible to make.

Not making a choice or saying what is in our hearts can somehow stave off destruction or failure. But other times our desire bubbles beneath our skin with a rosy glow, our breathing flutters in an anxious melody of what if and our only choice is to say what we are really thinking.

If I say please, will you linger to see what happens between us, once and for all?

At one point I said perhaps nothing exists between us, yet there is a time when even the most convincing lies outgrow their comfort level. I’ve run and chased and hid, all the while hoping that whatever pulses between us, vibrating the air into golden waves, will eventually die out on its own.

Mostly so I will never have to take a chance to look at exactly what this is.

At one time, not knowing seemed easier than making the choice to find out what there really is between us. Because it has never gone away, despite how much we both hoped it would.

I don’t know if unanswered questions still linger upon your lips in the way my kisses always did. But if they do, I’m asking if you will stay this time to taste the sweet surrender of letting what happens to happen, if we make the choice to explore it.

We can make the decision to give the sparks and electricity a chance to grow roots.

If I say please, will you stay and ignore all the reasons why you shouldn’t?

Sometimes the list of dusty words heavy with impossibility can actually keep us more company than the love we are seeking.

I’m not discounting any of the reasons that we have clung to. I’m just starting to believe that despite the reasons we shouldn’t be together, the reality of what has been trying to grow is right in front of us.

Maybe there are still a thousand reasons why you shouldn’t, yet it only takes one reason you should.

This reason tastes like sweltering summer nights. It feels like something neither of us knew was real until we spent all of our energy trying to prove that it wasn’t.

It’s not that I’m asking you to ignore all of the reasons why you shouldn’t, but to see if there’s a single reason why you should.

Even if it’s just to be sure or not if I am everything you’ve been searching for, but never truly expected to find.

If I say please, will you stay to find out if this is love?

Maybe our connection is nothing more than the erotic realism that comes when two people vibrate on the same frequency. Perhaps we are the dangerous combination of safety and the tantalizing taste of something we know we shouldn’t want.

Or perhaps it’s a kind of love that neither of us ever knew existed, let alone ever dreamed of finding.

I’m not asking you to love me, but only to give yourself the time to see if it’s truly love. Do not be scared of the truth in your heart, give it permission.

I loved you long before I fell into love with you, yet somehow it tastes all the more sweet because I tried my hardest not to.

There’s something sublimely beautiful about letting ourselves travel to places we told ourselves we never would. While it may be a journey that still seems impossible to you, I’m hoping and asking if this time you’ll let yourself go to all the places you’ve never gone before.

I don’t want to trap you into an ending of commonality and subtitles so thick neither of us can make sense of it. I only ask you to look at the possibility that, even though our love was what we were hoping it wasn’t, it’s the kind of love where there is no going back.

If I say please—will you stay the night?

I know the type of lover you are, and while delicious memories of you make my supple desire begin to pulse, this time I’m after more.

More than just having sex with you, I’d like to sleep tangled up with you in alabaster Egyptian cotton as soft as our skin.

There is a chance that one night together won’t change anything, that it will be just another night of thousands in our lifetime. But it’s also just as likely that in the quiet moments of the darkened moon and my bare body against yours that something will begin to sway and move between us making it even harder to ever walk away from one another.

Regardless of which outcome shines its truth come morning light, I’d like to spend one night learning how you breathe in your sleep when there aren’t any walls left to keep us apart.

Yet, none of this comes with ultimatums or answers, because this time maybe it’s the questions that matter most, regardless of what new truths, if any, we may learn.

Maybe we will find that we knew this truth long ago. Perhaps we will awaken and realize that we had been so busy chasing the sun, we’d forgotten how beautiful the moon can truly be.

In truth I’m only asking you to stay this time because I no longer have the desire to make you leave.

So, if I say please—will you stay to see what happens if we both let it?


Author: Kate Rose

Editor: Ashleigh Hitchcock

Photo: flickr/Christopher Gonzales

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