Appetites like people come in all sizes.

Eating more or less is not a character flaw it is simply what we feel like at that moment. For some reason our high metabolism, lack of appetite or combination of both makes us Victorian, puritanical sticks in the mud.

Skinny people get a lot of bad press these days.

Years ago a girlfriend once told me that skinny girls are not good in bed. She went on to describe in great detail the joys of eating a big juicy porterhouse steak, how this carnivorous activity was akin to carnal lust and other aspects of oral sex. That was it, in her mind skinny girls don’t like to eat so skinny girls don’t fu*k with passion.

Just the other day, I saw the title of a book Never Trust A Skinny Italian Chef. It reminded me of the comment my friend made all those years ago. It seems there is a quid pro quo when it comes to size and if we don’t make the cut, we just are not reliable sources of the sensual arts.

We may be skinny, we may eat less but it doesn’t mean we don’t know good food, a good time or good loving. Size does not determine these sensual qualities. Weighing less does not equal feeling less. It can be quite the contrary, perhaps we are more passionate, keener tasters who saver the subtle nuances of flavor and languor in the company of our lovers.

It is with that capacity to feel with such intensity, that we do not need as much to satisfy us. We are more aware of our own satiation because we take the time to taste, reflect and enjoy rather than devour. Maybe it is that thoughtfulness, depth of emotion that enables us to be content to eat less.

Regardless there are many reasons for refraining from eating, it doesn’t mean skinny people are sneaky, lying, cold snobs.

Maybe we just are not in the mood. But that doesn’t mean we are never in the mood.

Anyone, no matter what size, can turn down a donut or an afternoon romp because they are not feeling well, are upset or that donut or that particular person doesn’t appeal to them. It seems we have a preoccupation with appetites.

Be it for food or as a metaphor for sexual appetite, those who desire lots of food or sex are perceived as affable, easily approached and more human. Some have even gone to the extreme of watching a woman eat vast quantities of food on YouTube to comfort them at times when they don’t want to eat alone, reinforcing the message that more is better when it comes to eating.

But in some cases, a little dollop will do. Like the cherry on top of a sundae, a twist of lime in tonic or a square of dark chocolate. A little goes a long way and too much can overpower, if not overwhelm.

Relephant Read: 

Confessions of a Skinny Girl.

 Author: Jane CoCo Cowles

Editor: Sara Kärpänen

Photo: Steven Depolo / Flickr  & Ashley Webb / Flickr