“You just listen to your own heart. That is your only teacher.” ~ Osho
Although the twin flame connection is the most difficult to navigate, there is one secret to breaking the pattern of the runner and chaser and changing the direction of the relationship forever.
Regardless of which type of romantic relationship we find ourselves in, one of the most difficult aspects can be how to know if it’s safe to show our hearts.
It’s the inner battle about when to let down our walls, deciding to show the other person just how much they mean to us and precisely how we feel about them.
Love is thought by some to be a game, in which case, many times it seems there is no winner—but it doesn’t have to be this way.
There is never a “right time” to bare our hearts and souls to another person. Perfect timing is purely an illusion of our ego and fear masquerading together as good judgement.
Yet in the twin flame connection, especially when many experience roles that are defined as the runner or chaser, it seems that it’s even more difficult to decide exactly when to open up, so that we don’t send the runner even further out into the far reaches of fate where we might never see them again.
But the only option that we have is to show our hearts—every single detail, fear and vulnerability included.
And this is the true secret of unlocking the twin flame connection.
While this union is unlike any other and often feels more intense, there is also the aspect of not just what the relationship will teach us and what we need in terms of a romantic connection, but also what it teaches us about our bond with ourselves.
Many times in this type of relationship, we struggle with the challenges that our twin flame brings to the surface for us to deal with—and especially difficult are those aspects of our own hearts and patterns of behavior that we aren’t always ready to face.
To honor ourselves and our souls, we have to be able to be comfortable with our own truths—after all, if we aren’t, there isn’t any way we can expect anyone else to be either.
Because of the sometimes dual nature in the chaser and runner roles, meaning that they can switch periodically depending upon circumstances or personal development, we sometimes swallow our truths and run from not just the other person, but from ourselves.
It’s far easier to say that the other person isn’t ready to hear our truths, than it is to admit that sometimes we aren’t ready to acknowledge them for ourselves.
Yet this is the sole purpose of the twin flame connection—to come into our lives and shake us awake from whatever stagnation that we have been satisfied by thus far.
Only when we can sink down into our truths and make a home there, can we not only reverse these roles, but also stop them altogether.
It doesn’t matter if we think the other person wants to hear them or not—nor does it matter if we think they are ready.
If we feel love, then we not only owe it to the person we are in love with to tell them—but we owe it to ourselves as well.
When we can simply be comfortable enough in our own emotional realm to express our feelings and desires from a place of nonjudgmental thought and no set standard of expectations, then we have reached the pivotal moment when we have allowed our twin flame connection to raise us to a higher vibrational frequency.
Because loving our twin flame isn’t so much about falling for another, but about overcoming whatever obstacles we needed to within our own lives and minds, in order to be able to reach the point where we can sit with our feelings, knowing that loving that person is the most honest thing we can do.
It takes a great deal of effort to continually run from someone who challenges us and scares us because of the intensity of the connection, but it also is extremely trying to deny our feelings and talk ourselves out of whatever it is we suspect we feel for the other person.
While it can be terrifying at first, it’s much easier in the long run to simply sit with our feelings and fears, acknowledge them, and then express them to the other person.
When we do this, it changes things—no longer are we lying to ourselves or pretending that the other person doesn’t mean something to us. We are now acting from a heart based place of authenticity, and so long as we do it without expectation of a specific reaction or end result, then this simple decision to bare our hearts can change the twin flame connection forever.
In these relationships, the chaser usually pursues because they are looking for something from the runner—they are expecting an end result and want immediate gratification based upon their own needs. Likewise, the runner continually runs, because they feel backed into a corner about having to face something they aren’t yet ready to do—even if they can’t fully articulate this fear.
Yet when we can drop those roles, and instead express the truth in our hearts, the chaser simply stops the act of chasing because they aren’t looking for anything from the other person. They aren’t trying to convince them of their connection, or possible future. In the same sense, the runner—now feeling no pressure to decide or make a decision—will instead feel the serenity of the other person simply holding space for them, and they stop running.
Because when we stop running from ourselves and withholding our truth, then we also lose the need to chase someone in order to validate whatever it is we were scared of in the first place.
The twin flame connection isn’t supposed to be easy, and it’s not supposed to follow whatever guidelines for love we have previously thought was the norm that we should aspire to.
Its sole purpose is to help us get more in touch with our own hearts, so that we can then share that authentic aspect of ourselves with our partner.
And that is the point at which everything changes.
Author: Kate Rose
Editors: Yoli Ramazzina; Caitlin Oriel