We’ve all had those relationships that we feel we’ve survived.
Few of us have escaped the experience of heartbreak in our lives—and many of us have had to find ways to rebuild our lives after a relationship burns out or burns down.
During my divorce, I got a phoenix tattooed on my wrist. I needed a visual reminder that I had survived many challenges and could survive many more. It helped me hold on, seeing that symbol, and when I struggle, it still helps. It’s just a way for me to never lose sight of the fact that I am stronger and more capable than I sometimes realize.
Recently, I was thinking about those experiences, and I wanted to put the experience of rising again and again from struggle into words. I wanted to find a way to communicate a little of what it feels like when we are faced with innumerable challenges, and yet manage to survive them all.
I hope that this gives courage to those currently struggling with broken hearts or the myriad monkey wrenches life throws at us.
I hope that it’s a reminder that we are more than capable of surviving whatever it is we’re facing. We may have to reach out for help, or simply buckle down and move forward, but we are capable of doing this.
So take heart.
I’m fighting all my demons, outrunning all my ghosts
Unpacking all the baggage that’s hurt me the most
Return to sender, just take it all back
My heart is too bruised for these attacks.
I cannot halt the thoughts that turn
I burn, I burn, to ash returned
Born from fire, rising still
I love and hate all that I feel.
To ash, to ash, a falling hush
I rise in flames, the fire rush
And then some days, I come apart
Crushed by endings and too scared to start
From ash I rise, to ash returned
You leave me here
To disappear without a trace
You just erase
This time, our story
Before lovers found
You won’t bury me beneath this ground
I’ll speak my story
I’ll bear this sorrow
Broken now, but strong tomorrow
Built from my pain, made into steel
It hurts right now
But it will heal.
I’ll rise again.
I always do.
Author: Crystal Jackson
Image: Instagram @edwardvilga
Editor: Yoli Ramazzina