December 14, 2016

How to Confront the Self Help Section of the Book Store.


We live in a world in which we constantly get sabotaged with messages of “there is more.”

Magazines promise the best weight loss programs. Bras guarantee a more satisfying figure beneath your clothes. Dating websites hook you with a glimpse of your perfect mate. Grocery stores are a war zone of decisions as you look for the container that is three pennies cheaper per unit ounce.

Bigger cars. Bigger houses. Greener grass. Larger paychecks.

We are swirling in decisions from the moment we awaken in the morning to always find “the best.” Our society takes pride in the ability to multi-task two or three projects at a time. We are a whirlwind of activity always looking for the mark on the measuring stick that indicates we have arrived.

We have taken all of these messages of “more” and created a platform of judgment within ourselves. What if, instead, we looked in the mirror and liked what we saw?

To the woman who thinks she needs to lose “just five more pounds,” why? Is it because you will find happiness and peace when the scales weigh in on the magic number? Will you feel more complete spiritually if you wore a size six instead of a size eight?

To the beautiful new mom with that baby in your arms, why are you in such a hurry to “lose the baby weight”? When you are busy nurturing this new human into a world of love and acceptance, can you accept where you are in your path of life and relish it?

Here is a message to the woman whose husband whispers in your ear, “You are beautiful.” Why do you feel the need to look for imperfections and justify the belief that you are not beautiful?

We can spend our days always looking for justification to work harder on some aspect of ourselves. If you aren’t sure what to work on, just go to the “self help” section of a bookstore and I’m sure you will discover an inadequacy you never even knew you had before you started browsing.

Seeking out something to worry over will give us exactly what we are seeking: worry and stress.

Seek self-acceptance. Seek goodness. Seek permission to be happy with yourself. When that lover tells you how amazing you are, say “thank you.” Smile to yourself and validate that you are amazing. If you don’t have someone in your life that is sharing in your beauty, love yourself. You are just the person you need in your life right now. Look in the mirror and say, “You are enough.”

Society will not slow its appetite for our energy. We can give all that we have, and still it will continue to seek more from someone else when we are empty. But we can slow the world we live in. We can create our own spaces and have our own oases.

Be enough for yourself. If it’s a day to meditate or a day to be silly with your child, then be in that moment and stop worrying about how far behind you will be in society’s checklist of measurements.

Because you are enough.


Author: Jennifer Davis

Image: Unsplash.com/Lacie Slezak

Editor: Callie Rushton

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