“F*ck it. You’re not perfect, you have your issues. You’ve been broken, you’ve been uncertain and unsure. Sometimes you’re difficult, sometimes you don’t know what the f*ck you’re feeling but that doesn’t change the fact that you deserve the type of love that will quiet the chaos within your soul.” ~ r.h. Sin
They sound all the same, don’t they?
I’m talking about these men who speak of lofty promises of dinners and jewels thinking that somehow that is all that she is after.
It seems they have confused worth with value and think that theirs is wrapped up in their resume and their bottom line.
And with every offer or suggestion reeking in the overconfidence of a man who has no concept of what the soul of a woman like her can do to change his life, he thinks that somehow he deserves her.
He thinks that because of the name inside of his clothing he deserves to be the one to see her while the rest of the world is sleeping.
And somehow he believes that because of his monetary value he’s worth her time—yet there is a reason she always seems to run away at the last minute and remains just out of reach.
There’s a truth that blows like a summer breeze through her golden hair and kisses her shoulders like a hot July sun—that the only man who does actually deserve her is the only one who thinks he doesn’t.
She doesn’t think that it’s an issue of confidence, but rather the only man who truly has seen her will be the one who thinks he doesn’t deserve her—at least perhaps in the beginning.
He won’t understand how a woman like her has fallen in love with a man like him.
And this, this sweet kind of man is the only one who deserves her—because his path will be riddled with trepidation and the knowledge that he has no wish to ever change her.
He doesn’t want to wrap her up in his needs and make her more like the women who have come before her, because he knows that it’s those qualities that have him wondering if he deserves her.
Maybe he doesn’t even quite understand her, or maybe the reality is he is the only one who does.
Perhaps it’s just that he might be the first—and possibly only—to see into her soul when he gazes at her long enough to set her skin on fire. He might be the only man who fully recognizes what kind of woman she is, not because she is perfect but because of how she loves.
There’s an iridescent violet magic that dances behind her eyes, and the truth is that not many can decode it and even fewer can speak it.
But this man—somehow, even while thinking that he might not deserve her—still seems to be the only one to ever speak her language.
It’s not done through the usual feats or areas of expertise, but in the way that he runs his long finger down her binding as if she is the novel he’s waited his whole life to read.
It’s in the way that his deep eyes call out to be loved—even if in the beginning they feared it just as much as they desired it.
There’s fluidity to her love and how life moves by her side. At times, moments seem to stretch on for hours. The sun almost rises and still it seems as if they’ve only barely hugged hello. She’s an enchantress—but to him, she’s simply a woman who deserves the world and he doubts if he is the one up for that task.
When the night is quiet, she sits back while gazing at him—marveling at what a beautiful garden has able to grow between them now that both their walls have come down, and she wonders how he doesn’t see that it’s only him that deserves her.
He’s seen her when she was still invisible, and could pen pages just about the way she moves as she comes towards him. He could write poems about how she drives him insane at times, and could even tell someone the color of her eyes and how her voice sounds when they’ve forgotten they weren’t the only two people in the world.
But most of all, he deserves her because he is the only who taught her that she deserves love.
He is the only one who continually encourages her to find her own voice and worth—the one to set her free so that she might never again know what it feels like to be caged. He’s pushed her beyond her comfort zone and continually been on the sidelines watching as she made the world her own.
This man has challenged her to step into the role of being the best possible woman she could be, yet still wonders how it is that he is the one deserving to stand by her side. Only the man who has seen her at the bottom knows how far it has taken her in order to rise to the top—and it’s only that man that truly deserves the treasure of her heart.
All of these other men pale in comparison, but perhaps that is what is bound to happen after being given something no other man has ever been able to give her—the gift of finding herself.
And maybe he still does question if he deserves her, but the reality is that there isn’t anyone who deserves her more than the man who continually questions if he does.
She was never after a life that could be bought—but rather a life that was filled with meaning, and something tells her that she could spend countless nights by his side and still wake up wondering what it was between them that never seemed to die.
Maybe for him, those moments will be when he finally realizes that he is the only one to deserve her—and maybe that’s why he’s never really let her go.
Author: Kate Rose
Image: Flickr/Insomnia Cured Here
Editor: Caitlin Oriel