They say that around 30 percent of women never reach orgasm.

We have all been at that awkward dinner party where someone is asked if they have had an orgasm before, and they reply, “I think so,” and all those in the room that actually have had one know for sure that person has not!

If you get the O, you just know.

I really thought I had had an orgasm right up until my 28th birthday when a friend bought me a vibrator and I began to experiment on myself. I discovered what I had been missing during my 10 years of active sex.

It’s wrong to assume that women who don’t reach orgasm don’t enjoy sex, they do. I loved sex, but I didn’t realise how amazing it could be until I reached the end point.

They say it can take a long time for a woman to reach orgasm, and that the process can be tiring, so women are often happy to fake it and cuddle. If they do get the O, they don’t want to try for a second.

Women can of course have multiple orgasms, which takes a lot of work on the man’s part, and a lot of “withholding,” which can often mean they will not “finish” either.

Multiple orgasms are great. Sometimes they come in waves, and you can train yourself to reach the peak, settle, and then pick up again, like riding a rollercoaster—of orgasms.

Everyone talks about the Big O, that moment of release, as if it is the best thing in the world, but they are wrong.

The best feeling, the feeling that provides the most euphoria, the most whole body-shaking, trembling energy, is actually the split second before the orgasm, when the blood rushes to your most sensitive areas, and for a second you can’t breathe, or speak, or even move.

It’s that instant before orgasm…that is where all the pleasure lies.

So what if you could make that moment last? Draw it out so it’s as if you are having multiple orgasms over and over in the same moment.

You can.

It takes training for this one and if you don’t believe me you are just going to have to try it for yourself.

So how do you get to that point and stay there, without tipping over the edge?

Well you have to have a partner who will take instruction, and you have to be honest.

But because not every man is an artist in the bedroom, it is often best to learn things on yourself, after and once you have taught yourself, it’s much easier to do with your partner.

So imagine you are reaching that point where you want to get to, and you start to feel your body heating up, the tip of your clitoris starts to feel cold and warm at the same time, and the energy in your body is being pushed to that point…

Well, just as you feel yourself starting to tip over the edge, you take the vibrator—or your fingers—and you tease yourself, not letting the orgasm go, but also not letting it come completely.

You have to massage the clitoris, very carefully, stimulating only that part of your body.

It will feel like you are on the edge and you want so badly to go over, but you are waiting, and the feeling is, well…amazing.

All the fire, energy, and heat that you have collected is ready to go, but you stay feeling it all—over and over, like 10 orgasms at once. And then, when you have reached the point of total surrender, you let it go, and let the release happen.

Once you have mastered this alone, it will be easier with a partner because you can hold it yourself at that point, and he will enjoy the fact that you are completely and totally in his power, but in the most amazing way possible.

You will finish feeling as exhausted as he is, and you will understand why it’s great to roll over, cuddle, and go to sleep, because for the first time, you won’t have the energy left to talk.

Mastering the Big O is one thing, mastering the Bigger O will bring your sex life to a whole new level!

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Author: Sarah Warne

Image: Courtesy of Author

Editor: Travis May