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March 9, 2017

I Choose You. After a Hundred Lifetimes, I’d still Choose You.

“And I’d choose you—in a hundred lifetimes, in a hundred worlds, in any version of reality, I’d find you and I’d choose you.” ~ Kiersten White

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I choose you.

Not just for a day, or for a fleeting flash of a second, but forever. In this lifetime—or any other that we may stumble through—it is your soul that I will search to find. It’s your heart that I know is meant for mine.

Time falls away as the iridescent glow from a late winter’s sunset breaks the mundane with the reality of you—and this love I’ve never searched for that has found me all the same. It seems that life has swirled around me so quickly, dousing my worn out beliefs, and inspiring me to believe in something bigger than myself—something bigger than I had ever really planned for…you.

It seems that there is never a right time for love—but it is also true that love is always right on time. Yet, we search and prod, breaking ourselves over the choices that we make and crying over the choices that make us. Never really knowing where we should be or where we need to end, yet still clinging to a beginning that has yet to manifest. And somewhere in between it all, we forget to breathe—we forget to live.

I choose you, because you simultaneously take my breath away and remind me how to live.

I never thought I’d have to choose love, and in reality, I didn’t know that I would ever choose you. But I do—today, tomorrow, and for however long I am able to wake with the sunrise to drink in the beauty of a new day.

Still, at times, it feels like loving you was a choice that was made for me. Almost as if my heart took over and decided (long before my head caught up) that you were the one for me.

At one point, I wasn’t sure if I believed in the idea of “the one”—after all, in much respect, it’s a daunting prospect that only one person is created for us. And the thought that nags at me isn’t: What would life be like if my soul found its mate? But: What would life be like if it didn’t?

It’s easier to focus on the moments that could break my heart, so if it actually happens, then I’ll be prepared. Through that process, I taught myself that pain was something I should expect…but then you came into my world.

How could I not choose you? That was never an option.

And so, it seems that my heart chose yours long before my head could wrap its lengthy words and syllables around the reality of you; it became obvious that my soul had connected with yours years before the combustible light exploded within our shared gaze toward one another.

I chose you, before I even truly realized that I love you.

Life rarely works out the way we envision it will—yet somehow, it still ends up exactly as it is meant to be. And so, I can’t sit here and say that I know what will happen next month, or even years from now—but I do know that I will still continue to choose you.

I choose you to stand by my side through it all, because there isn’t anyone else I’d rather have next to me.

It’s funny how I can’t imagine us arguing over anything now, but I still I tell myself that it is possible—that someday, one of us will inadvertently hurt the other. Or, we will become so stubborn that we forget the power we possess when we stand by each other, as two players on the same side. However, even in the heat of an argument, I know that I will still choose you, because no one else has ever felt more like home.

There is so much that is still unknown, yet I still choose you.

By doing so, I am not only promising to love you for all that I see—everything that I can read like braille with my soft fingertips—but also all for the shadows in you that I have yet to see.

I don’t need to know everything in order to know it’s you that I love. Our story doesn’t need to roll out with an effortless simplicity for me to know that it’s the one I want to spend the rest of my life writing.

I choose you because you are the only one who has ever inspired me to simply be who I am.

I don’t think this will be easy, but what I do know is that I can’t imagine walking away from you and everything we’ve shared—everything we’ve created within the intoxicating space between your lips and mine. Something unique to grow in those unattended moments when our souls were allowed to play freely with each other. And in time, it seems that something powerful has started to bloom—a feeling I never expected to experience: unconditional love.

And so, I choose you, because you’ve helped show me how to truly love.

Moments pass chaotically within the ribbons of time that we create. We accept what we think we deserve, yet run from anything that challenges us. Nothing makes sense—yet somehow, your name on my lips feels like a divine mix of comfort and sublime magic.

You speak to me without words, and I can feel your soul across any expanse of time or distance. Perhaps words simply escape us when love takes over.

I choose you for everything you are and for all you will become.

I choose you, because you are my one.

“I didn’t fall into love with you. I walked into love with you, with my eyes wide open, choosing to take every step along the way. I do believe in fate and destiny, but I also believe that we are only fated to do the things we’d choose anyway.” ~ Kiersten White

 

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Author: Kate Rose

Image: Flickr/Ariadna Bruna

Editor: Yoli Ramazzina

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