When we think about soulmates, most of us envision a deeply passionate, soulful connection with a person who feels as if they are our “other half.”
We grow up believing that there is one person who’s the perfect match for us.
And when we meet this person, as any of us know who have met a soulmate, the attraction to them is so intense it feels like a magnet that we can’t pull away from even if we try. We can feel their energy around us, inside of us, and even when we aren’t with them.
The two biggest myths about soulmates:
1.~The relationship will be easy, effortless, and last a lifetime.
2.~This person will consistently make us feel the I-can’t-get-enough-of-you kind of happy.
Not so, this soulmate is surprisingly different.
We’ll never forget this one:
At first glance, there is a slight attraction and a feeling of friendship.
Our connection builds slowly over time. It’s gradual and happening in the background of everything else going on in our lives, so we hardly pay attention to it or notice it at all.
There’s nothing about this person that screams, “soulmate.” They don’t check off our carefully thought out lists or fit the ideal description of what we’re looking for in a long-term romantic partner.
We suddenly find ourselves hanging out with this person a lot, and we look forward to seeing them more. But we typically wave off starting a relationship with them because we know it just won’t work.
Except, the universe has other plans for our souls to chose each other and learn some important lessons. So to hell with what we had planned, the heat is about to get turned up!
The attraction and attachment to each other grows stronger. Whether it becomes romantic or not, we start pushing each other’s buttons. This person challenges us as a friend, a lover, and human being.
And they don’t make things easy. They call us out on everything we’ve ever tried to keep buried and hidden from the world. They force us to deal with our sh*t in the most loving yet uncomfortable way.
The harder we try to push them away, because they make us feel things we don’t want to, the more drawn we are to them.
We push. They push back.
We retreat. They remain steady and steadfast.
This kind of soulmate doesn’t give up on us.
They are our heaviest opponent in the ring but also our biggest cheerleader. Just when we think we can’t take another round with them, we find that we’re picking ourselves up and going back into the ring for more.
And we don’t do it because we’re crazy or a glutton for punishment, but because all the fighting and pushing is breaking us open. They are making us stronger and pushing us past the self-imposed limitations that have been holding us back our entire lives.
We fight mercilessly, at times. Our wounds that need healing are brought to the surface, so we lash out at them when it becomes difficult to deal with.
It’s an exhausting roller coaster ride at times, yet it leaves us breathless, exhilarated, and wanting more after the first ride ends.
This soulmate loves us without conditions or expectations, even when it’s challenging.
Even when we believe we are undeserving of their love or anyone else’s, for that matter.
This is why we will always remember this love.
Because this soulmate, although not necessarily meant to stay in our lives forever, is the one who will show us how lovable we’ve always been.
Author: Dina Strada
Image: Flickr/Leah Adams
Editor: Ashleigh Hitchcock