All of us are looking for more peace and ease in our lives.
Even as we make a mess of our lives—somehow, we are also striving for things to be “better.”
However, it is only when we start to accept that there is no “better” that our life actually becomes more manageable.
In some religions, we are told that humans are made in God’s image. If you look around, it is easy to see that everyone—every last human on this planet—is full of karmic neurosis, and that is what God’s image is.
We are all full of doubt, challenge, uncertainty, and striving. We all want more of some things and less of others.
And perhaps, it is in this way that we are made in God’s image. That God, the universe, and the whole design is faulty, messed up, confused, and weird—and that is the perfection.
We are the same. We are totally mixed up and just breathing through each moment, trying to hold as much love in our heart as we can muster in this moment, as it is.
Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche explained it this way:
“We must be willing to be completely ordinary people, which means accepting ourselves as we are without trying to become greater, purer, more spiritual, more insightful. If we can accept our imperfections as they are…then we can use them as part of the path. But if we try to get rid of our imperfections, then they will be enemies, obstacles on the road to our ‘self-improvement.'”
Self-love is the path to life becoming more full of ease and feeling like karma flows smoothly through our days, as if we are the experienced peacemakers we have come here to be.
But self-love does not look like being any different than we are. Self-love is truly letting love flow through our cells, while everything continues to be a complete mess.
That is the truth of how the universe works.
I know there are things you wish were different. I know you crave more safety, more certainty, more companionship, less loneliness, and an easier planet to live on.
I know this, because I hear it from people every day, and we are all basically the same—we are all craving a sense of safety and fulfillment for ourselves and the people we love.
But our true safety comes from our ability to accept ourselves and others as we are, without feeling like we need to force change.
Wanting things to be different is an addiction. We are addicted to the “grass is greener on the other side” dream. The dream that if only our finances would change, or our relationship status was different, or if someone would hug us and tell us everything is okay that things will actually be okay.
Instead, the only place “okay” exists is in accepting that there is no okay. That all we can do is embody the moment as it is, with all its flaws, weaknesses, and imperfections.
The more we love and laugh at our own neurosis, the craziness of others, and the imperfect design of life itself, the softer we can become.
When we become softer, we don’t have to hold up our shields anymore—the ones preventing us from letting all of life in.
When we become softer, we can listen to the truth of our mess and not fight against it, but instead, let in the brokenhearted healing that is our birthright.
Every moment that we fall into the knowledge of neurosis as imperfection, we arrive deeper into reality and become more true to our own being.
And isn’t this what we want? Brutal honesty with our own being, as a process of an ever-changing experience that never needs to become anything?
This is what I want for all of us—the whole-hog experience of the messy neurotic-ness of human existence, because this is where our true authentic life experience is waiting for us.
Author: Ruth Lera
Editor: Yoli Ramazzina