May 6, 2017

Why I Stopped Believing in Astrology.

I am a lover of love—a hopeless romantic.

For the last couple of years, though, I have been single. When I became single, I set myself on a mission to find love.

I had no idea how I was going to find it, but I was determined to do so. I had high hopes, but I had no idea how challenging it would be.

As a New Age hippie, I thought astrology would be a good way to find out if I was compatible enough with a person to fall in love with them. If I ever went on a date with a guy and happened to discover his birthday, I would promptly go home and read all about his astrological sign. I thought that doing this would give me insight into who he was as a person and how our relationship would blossom together. I even went so far as to rule out dating certain guys if I had previously read that our signs don’t get along well together.

That became my dating cycle: Go on a date, discover someone’s astrological sign, determine if we are a good match or not. When things didn’t work out, I usually blamed it on astrology. I would do this instead of realizing that I was focusing on the wrong things in order to find a relationship.

I started to doubt if I would ever find a person I could actually date, let alone fall in love with. Whether he was a good match for me or not, I just couldn’t keep a guy around. I wondered if there was something wrong with me. Were my standards too high? Did I have an abrasive personality? Was I not giving people a chance? Would my luck ever change?

As it became harder for me to find a guy, I began to let go of the idea of falling in love with someone. Instead of focusing on finding romantic love, I began shifting my focus on loving myself instead. I turned my attention inward and focused on developing true happiness within. That’s when everything changed.

I love to go dancing. Listening to live music and expressing myself through movement is one of my favorite activities. Because of this, my best friend and I decided to attend a local music festival as a way to feed our souls. I had no expectations going to this event other than to have fun and dance the night away to some good music.

And then, when I was least expecting it, I met someone there.

It was our first set of the day, one of my favorite DJs was playing. My best friend and I were hanging out in the crowd, when I noticed this guy. He was cute and quirky, and I liked his vibe. He seemed genuine and nice to me. And next thing I knew, out of a series of fortunate events, he ended up hanging out with us.

I was completely surprised. We hung out, his friends and mine, enjoying our festival experience together. And as we got to know each other through the day, I found out he was a Scorpio.

This threw me off guard. I didn’t know much about Scorpios, but I did know that they’re not the best match astrologically with Aquarians (my sign). I decided to not worry about it at the time, live in the moment, and focus on having a wonderful festival experience instead.

And I did end up having a great experience—so much so that I was able to snag the cute guy’s number. After the event, I promptly texted him and decided to look up our compatibility.

I was unnerved when I read that we were not a great match astrologically. The first words I read were, “This is one of the more challenging combinations as Scorpio and Aquarius are quite opposite to each other.” I didn’t like that at all. As I continued to read about our potential relationship, things got progressively worse. I even read that sexually, our relationship would be “inconsistent.” That sounded awful, and I felt discouraged.

How is it that I could have such a great time with a person, but not match up with them on an astrological level? I didn’t know how to feel about this. I decided to dismiss my old dating tactics and see what happened between us. Because I had such an awesome time hanging out with him in real life, and that’s worth way more to me than a bunch of words on an astrological compatibility website.

At first things between us were a bit rocky because all I could think of was the aforementioned astrological doom. I wasn’t sure if we would or even could last. I felt extremely unsure about us dating, but I forced myself to trust the process nonetheless. I had seen something in him at that music festival, and I was convinced that if I stuck around I would see it again.

I’m so glad I chose my instinct over my star sign.

Not only are things still going great between us, we also fell in love. Our relationship has been surprisingly easy, so much so that it feels surreal. And we are definitely not inconsistent, sexually. In fact, nothing about our relationship has been particularly challenging. I can safely say that what I read about our astrological compatibility was completely wrong.

This has led me to question the validity of all things astrological. Because of this experience, I have stopped putting so much weight and significance into it.

My story proves that astrology isn’t always right. And I am extremely grateful for that.

Relephant bonus:


Author: Alex McGinness 
Image: Author’s Own
Editor: Khara-Jade Warren

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