June 10, 2017

Be Unapologetic in Pursuit of What You Want.

“The best thing to invest in is yourself…and be unapologetic about it.” ~ Joe, my 66-year-old training client


Where do you invest your money and time?

Are you unapologetic about the resources you choose to invest in yourself? So many people struggle with feeling like they have to justify the time, energy, money, and resources they spend on themselves. It’s time to be unapologetic and relentless in the pursuit and protection of our boundaries.

A solo trip to the spa, traveling abroad, or purchasing training sessions to stay accountable with healthier living—these are all personal investments.

The hang-up is this: it’s an investment in yourself. For some people this is a hard thing to do, leaving them feeling guilty, selfish, or (worse) ashamed.

Why is this?

I’ve worked with dozens of women who provide so much for their partners and careers, but their biggest fitness struggle is prioritizing themselves by making time to work out. They get caught up providing for and supporting their partners, family, children, careers, and so on. After all is said and done, their time slips away from them.

But what is this really about? Boundaries.

We’re okay investing in our friendships, relationships, careers, and everything else, but when it comes to prioritizing our own self-care routines, we crumble. Self-care routines can be anything from a 20-minute sweat session in the basement, to a yoga class, to a 40-minute gym session, a spa trip…the list goes on.

What restores, reinvigorates, and excites you?

Why do we neglect ourselves in hopes of keeping others happy?

We’re scared to say “no” to people. We’re unable to establish boundaries. We say we want to get healthy, but allow ourselves to end up at four happy hours in one week—all because we’re unable to:

1. Say, “Thanks but no thanks, I’ve got plans with myself tonight.”

2. Stop people-pleasing.

3. Set healthy, necessary boundaries.

Boundaries aren’t bad.

They aren’t rude or isolating.

They’re simply defining a line for ourselves that establishes what we need, what we want, what we don’t want, our values, and what we allow in our life.

Sounds pretty f*cking healthy, doesn’t it?

We’ve all flown on airplanes and know the safety procedures that explicitly instruct passengers, in the event of cabin pressure loss, to apply their own oxygen mask before helping others.

Selfish? Inconsiderate of those around you?

How can we provide life-saving service to anyone on a plane if we’re passed out from oxygen deprivation? That does neither us nor the person we’re attempting to save any good.

Apply the same concept to our personal lives—why do we struggle to grasp the idea that our health, wealth, and self-care should be our top priority?

How can we expect ourselves to show up fully in our other roles if we’re constantly dragging ass and running on fumes?

People express feelings of guilt when they take time to focus on themselves or do a little something nice. Politely decline social invitations in favor of your favorite activities at home, and people will think you’re rude, so you feel guilty for saying “no.”

I get that. There is a balancing act we do in our lives.

How do we balance it all and make sure we’re giving each area what it deserves?

It starts with you.

We do ourselves and others a disservice when we don’t take care of ourselves and keep our side of the street clean. When we don’t take care of our side of the street, we leave others to support us and manage our emotions, instead of developing resiliency and self-regulation.

Do you really want your loved ones’ half-assed efforts because they’re too worn down to give you anything better?

We all, under the assumption we’re all here to develop our best selves, want what’s best for our loved ones. We want our loved ones to be rested, balanced, fulfilled, and happy people. We can’t expect our loved ones to be their best selves if they aren’t taking care of themselves.

Stop feeling guilty.

The way to stop this is to start owning our self-care and make it a nonnegotiable. The time I set aside to nourish my creativity is my time—I defend it with all that I know I’m worth.

Because I’m worth it, and so are you.

There’s nothing shameful about prioritizing our self-care and following through with it. We all have a lot riding on our shoulders, and in order to bring our best self to each and every meeting, interaction, and opportunity that comes our way, we have to refuel and renew.


Author: Sara Camiscioni
Image: YouTube still
Editor: Danielle Beutell

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