This post is Grassroots, meaning a reader posted it directly. If you see an issue with it, contact an editor.
If you’d like to post a Grassroots post, click here!

December 6, 2018

How it feels to be lonely and how it’s a good thing.

At some point we’re all surrounded by so many people that we don’t know what to do with them. At least most of us millennials would agree with the above. And then there comes a point, again, this doesn’t apply uniformly but for most there does come a certain point where we’re so alone that we don’t know what to do with us. It’s crazy. Sometimes even with a multitude of people around, you still feel inherently lonely. 

What is being lonely and what is loneliness? It’s not always easy to stay comfortable within your own self. It can get daunting, having no one to express your deepest self to. Loneliness is a state of mind more than a state of being. Sometimes it a slippery slope that you don’t quite know how to navigate through. This state of mind, that loneliness is, is a culmination of a number of things and its varied and subjective for everyone. Sitting alone, having no one to reach out to when you know social media and globalisation has created so many avenues to connect with people. Yet there are times in life when you just sit and let it flow over you. Because it’s a state of mind more than anything else. Loneliness stems from within, it’s not the lack of people or the excess of people, it is how you feel about your own self and if that feels sufficient to you, at times it doesn’t. Very frankly it doesn’t. But then again that’s a perception that you hold of yourself for whatever diverse reasons, your circumstances, your experiences, it could be anything or everything. But it is a state of mind. And our minds have a notorious way of tricking us into believing things that are not essentially accurate. Whatever you are and whoever you are, whatever place in your life you are, you are enough. And you alone are enough. 

Sometimes we don’t have people to share our beings with, that’s true too but that doesn’t take away from us all the things we’ve to offer even if there’s no body to take them. 

Feeling this way, experiencing loneliness is a process, especially in this digitalised world, it has become a highly personalised process for most and the reasons are pretty obvious and let’s avoid digression. Now the process is an inevitable and essential one, it is extremely important to understand the process and go through it first hand. The confusion, the pain, the disillusionment are all part of the process so panic is unnecessary. There is no need to run from your own self even when it’s painful to be all by yourself. The need in such a situation is for personal growth and evolution and the cost is the process. Do not resist the process. Let it take over you. Let it guide you. For once you’re through with it, you’ll emerge out not just mentally and emotionally stronger but you’ll find your place, your core. Once that happens, being with yourself will not be hard. It will not feel painful or difficult. 

It will just be. And it will be there for good. The best thing you can experience is your own self. All your demons and fears, insecurities and deep rooted issues need you to acknowledge and embrace them. And that can only take place when there is no space for anything or anybody else but you. When you sit all by yourself and feel all these emotions surface over and over and over. There does and will come a point when once you acknowledge them, they’ll settle down and slowly and gradually your state of mind will start to transform. Loneliness will no longer hold the negative connotations it once had for you or has acquired universally. If anything you’ll be grateful for it. If anything you’ll tell that to your self and you’ll vouch for it’s accuracy. 

Loneliness is just part of the many processes you go through to fully becoming your true authentic self, whoever and whatever it may be. 

That self will be you and in this chaotic world, that is a blessing not a curse. As that is the only ground you need to keep your feet on. So loneliness is a certain state of mind but it is a good thing for it leads to many wonderful other things. 

Read 7 Comments and Reply

Read 7 comments and reply

Top Contributors Latest

Shoa Naqvi  |  Contribution: 3,775