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Red flags can be a powerful indicator of whether we should move forward with a new relationship.
Yet, all too often, we completely ignore them.
Sometimes, we pretend they don’t exist. Other times, we expend energy justifying behaviors and traits and telling our friends again and again, “It really isn’t that bad. It’s not a dealbreaker for me.”
That’s where the wisdom and experiences of others can come in handy. Name any relationship problem or red flag, and someone has been there, done that. Someone can tell you exactly why certain things should absolutely give us pause—and maybe make us turn on our heel and run in the opposite direction.
We asked our readers, “What’s your biggest red flag in a relationship?”
Here’s a list of the best, most spot-on responses we got:
1. “Hypocrisy. Double standards.” ~ Austin C.
2. “A lot of self-promoting without ever seeing anything amazing with my own eyes. Blaming everything on exes or ‘all my exes are crazy.'” ~ Adrienne L.
3. “Excessive jealousy.” ~ Anonymous
4. “Lack of emotional depth. Inability to be authentic and open. Selfishness.” ~ Web B.
5. “When they talk trash about others within 5 minutes of meeting me (because they’ll NEVER do that to me….right?)” ~ Lucy M.
6. “gaslighting, manipulation and no integrity” ~ Mihela Z.
7. “Treating the wait staff badly is usually the first in a long list.” ~ Lisa K.
8. “Lying, hiding things, cheating in past relationships and being a shitty communicator.” ~ Cilla M.
9. “Lack of self love” ~ Darla C.
10. “lack of honesty” ~ Linda V.
11. “I dunno about biggest but some huge ones are actions different than words and emotional unavailability” ~ Victoria L.
12. “Rushing in quick. Being the Prince Charming full on. And if they have a temper parking a car in a busy carpark walk away. Huge red flag for me. Strange as it seems.” ~ Kara J.
13. “Lack of ability to maintain their own independence while being in a relationship.” ~ Beth S.
14. “Being controlling!” ~ Megan N.
15. “My intuition will usually be the red flag, otherwise lack of integrity and not being accountable are big red flags.” ~ Kerry S.
16. “They did not like the movie deadpool” ~ Joshua T.
17. “Always having to have their phone with them and never putting it down, while you are together.” ~ Desiree L.
18. “They ask you to smile more often.” ~ Melanie M.
19. “They’re married” ~ Christina C.
20. “All of the above” ~ Susan O.S.
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