Meet me there.

 

There is a saying that ‘We meet people where we are.’  I forgot, however, that is not the whole picture.

We are in a time where we allow ourselves to be barraged with negativity. Like children on a playground, desperate for acceptance, we conform or risk the ridicule.  Bully or be bullied, and though it makes us uncomfortable, we will play along. Jealousy reigns supreme. Fear that we will be left behind, fear that we will be missing something, fear that we don’t already have enough. Stomping our feet, because well, it just isn’t fair. By fair, what we actually mean to say is we want what they have and if we can’t have it then we must be less than the other and the other needs to be punished for our own perceived shortcomings. All begging to be met where we are.

There comes a point where all commotion slows down and I can catch a true glimpse of where I am. For me, during this time of panic and uncertainty, I found myself floundering a bit. I haven’t resigned myself to the socially acceptable table of pandemic fear, I am far too logical for that. Now, that being said, I do accept that this is where most people are, but I don’t want to be there.  For a moment, however, I began to slide into the fear of where I ‘should’ be. What is right in this time of social and political correctness? At every turn of the tide, humans love to pass judgement and gaslight. Caught in an endless battle of right and wrong. Egos, desperate to be right, will condemn without a moment’s hesitation. Unwilling to stop and observe and consider a different point of view, we herd like sheep into the crowd thinking we are free from observational judgement. Of course, we are not.

If you adhere to the storm of consensus you will be judged by those that don’t.  If you go against the norm, you will also be judged by those that do. Really we hold ourselves to the worst set of unachievable standards, knowing that there is no way to please everyone. Really, I forgot, the only one judging is the one who is in fear of judgement.

Sigh…

So, I took a moment. Let the fear rise. Stepped away. Observed it. Assessed it. Contemplated it.

Then, when I was ready, I returned to it revealing that my fear came from a place of trying to please the majority by ignoring and stuffing my own self down. Briefly, I had found myself being swept up in the fear of the masses, the fear of the unknown. We are all empathic, which is why we so willingly find ourselves swept up in the consensual storm. I stopped myself by reminding myself, that others will not meet me where I am. And again, disappointment arrives on the heels of expectation, and expectation comes cloaked as hope.

So, now what. Well, I suppose, that I need to be solid in my centre, to keep myself from snapping under the duress of the wind. My centre is one of Joy and logic, rooted in observation and curiosity. There is a deep sense of oneness I feel when I am able to, in the words of Aristotle, ‘entertain a thought without accepting it.’  I enjoy rolling around a different idea or view like one would try listening to a different musical genre. Trying it on for size and finding out if it pleases the ear or not. I also like to plant seeds, but I know we are all on different pathways, and everyone is exactly where they are meant to be. Including myself.

No, people will not meet me where I am, but if I am able to meet others where they are, then I am able to meet others where I am.  It is a full circle. It is the rule of thumb. By filling up someones elses glass of water, you find that your own cup fills. Giving is also receiving.  So Solid I will be. This does not mean unmoving, it simply means I can sway with the forces around me. It is only when the tree has reached its own willingness to bend in the wind, that the tree breaks. Willingness is limited only by fear.

So,

If you are wrapped in a blanket of fear, I will meet you there.

If you are not wrapped in a blanket of fear, I will meet you there.

If you are somewhere in between, I will also meet you there.

And by doing so, you will be meeting me here, and I will be meeting my self.