Royalty from thousands of years back held onto a tantalizing secret.
The secret was this: how their homes were arranged had a significant impact on their love life, health, happiness, and more.
Now, thankfully, this secret Feng Shui intel didn’t stay on the DL forever (only for about three millennia) and eventually made its way to the shores of the United States. Since its arrival, people have been using Feng Shui to make small, simple, often unnoticeable changes around their homes to attract the life they want.
When thinking about how to use Feng Shui to improve our love lives, we need to look to the bedroom, of course.
The bedroom in Feng Shui is symbolic of your romantic life. And believers in Feng Shui will tell you that the way the bedroom is set up and its energy flow may actually be contributing to your continued singledom or at least making your search for the perfect partner way more difficult than necessary.
For those looking for love, here are some common Feng Shui faux pas in the bedroom and tips on how to fix them. Please know, not all of these things may be do-able in your specific situation; do the best you can. Sometimes doing just a little can cause a significant shift.
#1 Avoid Single Objects & Furniture
What is often seen in bedrooms of people who feel they are perpetually single are things such as:
- One nightstand (instead, get two identical nightstands)
- One lamp (get two identical lamps, one for each nightstand)
- A single bed (most people don’t have this, but if you do it’s time for an upgrade, if possible)
- Images, art, or sculptures of a person alone (find that single thing a “mate” to put next to it or get it out of your bedroom)
- Single images of the person who sleeps there (all single pictures of you must go…anywhere else in the house but the bedroom)
#2 Avoid Things in Threes
In situations where you feel something or someone else is always ruining a potentially good relationship, you will frequently find things in threes in their bedroom and homes.
Just like avoiding single things in the bedroom, avoid things in threes as well. Put those babies in pairs or get them out of your bedroom.
#3 Definitely Get Mom, Dad, Grandma, your BFF & Anyone Else Out of your Bedroom
As your bedroom in Feng Shui is symbolic of your romantic life, we definitely do not want mom, dad, or anyone else interfering. And we most likely don’t want them (or their baggage) having a bird’s eye view. Put their photos and mementos in the living room, the area that is symbolic of your social life and entertainment.
#4 Make Sure There is Equal Access to Both Sides of the Bed
If you want to create the energy around having a good relationship, you need to create the space, particularly in your bedroom, for there to be a good relationship. If someone needs to do the running long jump, shimmy against the wall, or lose 20 pounds to squeeze to their side of the bed, you are not creating a space that is equal, comforting, or inviting for that person to be there with you.
Similar to having identical things in twos, you want equal access to both sides of the bed. This creates the energy of people moving freely and easily in the relationship.
#5 The Old Boyfriend (or Girlfriend) & All Their Mementos…Need. To. Go. Now.
In order to make space for the new, you need to get rid of the old, and that is especially important if you are looking for a new relationship. To the extent possible, get rid of any and all reminders of old relations to ensure your energy is saying that you are done with all old relationships and more than ready for the new one to come into your life.
#6 Send the Distractions Packing…or at least to Another Room
Distractions in your bedroom mean distractions in your love life. Put your work, exercise equipment, books, computer, bills, TV, and anything else that causes a distraction elsewhere.
#7 Toss Negative Images, Objects, or Mementos
While this Feng Shui tip is especially important for people who want to attract (or keep) love in their bedroom, it is true for keeping the overall energy of the home positive and productive. You don’t want your bedroom to be a haven of positive energy and the rest of your home to feel like Debbie Downer. Get rid of as many negative images, objects, or memories in your bedroom and throughout your house as possible.
Feng Shui Pro Tip: Sometimes negative imagery can disguise itself quite well. For example, do you have pictures up of amazing artists and musicians that died an early and tragic death? Or photos of old antique cars that can’t/don’t move anymore? Or of a shipwreck? Everything in the home is symbolic, determines the energy of the home, and according to the rules of Feng Shui, ultimately of you. Make sure that the objects don’t represent anything dead, tragic, no longer moving, or shipwrecked.
#8 No Mirrors Above your Bed
People with mirrors above their bed often struggle because they are living in the past and, pro tip, your hot new relationship ain’t back there. Let’s find another place for those babies. Try near your front door. Mirrors near your front door (as long as they are not pointing out the door) help attract good energy and positive career changes.
#9 Clear a Drawer or Two for Someone to Come Into your Life
As your bedroom is the most energetically indicative area of your romantic life, you need to make sure it feels like you have space in your life for romance. If your closet is jam-packed, if your drawers are overflowing, and if every crack and crevice is bursting with your stuff no one is going to feel like there is room for them in your life.
Tell the universe and create the energy that you are ready for that relationship to walk in the door and that you have space for them. Make some room in your closet by decluttering (only keep what you love dearly or use yearly), completely remove everything from one nightstand (if you have two), and empty a dresser drawer or two. Nothing can come into your life if you don’t make space for it to enter.
So…how long does it take for this to work?
Love in my experience is a bit slower to come into your life than, say, money or a positive career shift, (which I have seen happen in less than a day but usually in a few weeks) but good things are worth the wait. Anecdotally I see it tends to take about 8-12 months.
If you want to learn more about Feng Shui, check out my book.