May 27, 2020

We’ve been Thinking about Attraction all Wrong: How to Land the Man we Deserve.

Does anyone ever feel like their standards are exceptionally high, and the men we attract never seem to hit the spot?

Or that the man we desire doesn’t exist—that you can’t have the whole package.

Advice from friends and family might be to chill and be a little more open. But honestly, the slip-ups these men make are things they should really know about.

These are boys, not men.

If we were more open, those standards would slip. That is not an option. We’re here to have what we want. The whole damn package!

The problem here is not openness or a lack thereof. It’s not that we have unattainable standards in men, we just got it wrong about what is truly attractive to them. We’re shopping in the wrong market.

We have to remember that what works for the average man isn’t something that works for the alpha gentleman we’ve got our sights on. The masculine, alpha gentlemen, the kind of man who’s fiercely protective, excites you and scares you in the same breath—that man is moving about in a different world.

We think what we want is hard to find, and so we overcompensate for it. The more we don’t get what we want, the more tension rises. 

The more proof we have that he is hard to find, the more effort we put into more—more beautiful, more powerful, more admirable, more confidence, more fit, more sexual, more iconic. Simultaneously as we do this, we are energetically moving away from the alpha gent.

This “trying so hard” energy is a “doing” energy. And the more we try to be the sexiest, most desirable, most admirable thing he’s ever seen, the more we venture into masculine energy.

That alpha gentleman, the man-about-town we desire, the man who is a big deal, is attracted to feminine energy.

This does not mean we have to be girly and drop our standards—far from it. Feminine energy is expressive; she declares what she wants. But it’s a receiving energy. It’s the opposite of trying.

The good news with a real masculine man is that he will hunt down the feminine.

Boys (f*ck boys) need validation. They need us to do the leg work to prove we like them. Our alpha man does not. He wants to do the leg work. He’s going to be the one who shows up because it’s in his nature to do so.

I’d also hazard a guess that the men we currently date, we have zero emotional connection with, and the men we have a genuine connection with do not have an emotional connection to us.

Why? Because we may be clear on the kind of man we want, but are we aware of what he is looking for emotionally? Is this alien to us? High-value men have significant emotional needs, just like us. It’s what separates them from boys.

This is also why the men we want don’t connect to us—we don’t know how to give them what they want…yet. Even though our beauty, our compassion, and our strengths are admirable to them. We don’t offer them what they deeply desire for themselves on a primal level.

They have high standards, too, you know. That’s why we want him.

Here’s a checklist of what needs to happen:

>> We’re going to need to let go of trying to impress him, that’s his job.

>> We’re going to need to get a lot clearer on those emotional standards we have.

>> We’re going to have to understand the complexities of primal, male desire. We’re going to activate his attraction to us.

This is how we become the energetic match to the alpha gentleman we seek.

The man we desire is not unattainable; we’ve just been shopping in the wrong market. I can’t wait to hear how blown our damn minds are—we had it so wrong with attraction! 

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