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What do we do when certain people repeatedly attempt to drain our energy and mess with our minds?
How are we supposed to react to pointless accusations from people who find it convenient to blame us for their own failures?
Each one of us is bound to have several frustrating encounters in our day-to-day life. Some of them are too petty to engage in, while others are difficult to ignore. But each of those experiences leave their trace in our memory and gradually result in a buildup. How do we deal with this?
We can either hold onto those memories and continue to suffer, or we can allow ourselves to let go of bitterness and give way to healing.
I choose to go with the latter.
I have learnt that grudges don’t serve any higher purpose—they only cloud our judgement. It turns out that holding onto anger doesn’t fuel our engine like we thought it would. It only burns us slowly from the inside out, until a part of us vanishes forever—a part that was supposed to be compassionate, loving, forgiving, and accepting.
Every time I feel disturbed by someone else’s attitude, I remind myself of the following:
1. Regardless whether the other person deserves our harshness or not, we shouldn’t reciprocate just to get even. We shouldn’t be tricked into participating in someone else’s karma.
2. We need to preserve our own energy.
3. We need to fiercely protect our sanity.
4. We cannot afford to lose ourselves. What makes us special is our way of doing things. If we lower our standards of behaviour with every interaction we have, how will we ever become our finest version?
5. We must be in full control of our actions and not let them be mere reactions to instigations.
Practice makes perfect. These reminders are meant to keep us in check, but they aren’t easy to accept or follow. We need to calm down and let a few hours pass before we are ready to entertain them. Personally, I am not a saint, so I definitely need my cooling-off period. Eventually, I will manage to view the situation holistically.
I am not insinuating that we should sit back and do nothing. While we must have faith in destiny, it is also important to put in a bit of effort ourselves when it’s needed.
6. We must keep nurturing our spirit and guard it against violent attempts that are intended to break in and enter our sacred world. We must not allow trespassers who intend to infest our lives with their trademark negativity.
7. We need to protect what is ours. I don’t believe in initiating an attack and taking what isn’t mine. But I shall show no mercy to those who shamelessly aim to claim what I rightfully deserve.
8. We should not allow anyone to disturb our peace and energy. If someone begins to take too much comfort in our harmlessness, we need to show them exactly what it is like to mess with us. We are supposed to act and do the right thing.
9. As a Karma yogi, it is my duty to perform my karma to the best of my ability. All this, ability, while not getting too attached to anger and self-pity. I don’t want to get too attached to the result as well.
I shall do my bit and have faith that what is truly meant to be mine will find its way to me. I will give it my best and leave the rest to the higher powers that prevail.
10. I do not, for one moment, want to think of myself as a victim. I want to be a survivor and a warrior who doesn’t indulge in self-pity. A survivor always finds solutions.
I must do everything in my power, while retaining my integrity and authenticity. I need to remember that I am just participating in a process—I don’t need to become the process.
I will strive to hold onto my compassionate side through all of this. I am aware that everyone who is good or bad to me is a mere instrument. They are playing their role, and I am playing mine. I don’t think of it in any other way. I don’t want to get too attached to either right or wrong.
I aim to be a warrior who is powerful and strong, yet compassionate and righteous. I want to be a survivor who is weathered, but still intact. I shall let every other fact be just that: a fact.