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September 16, 2020

Unpopular Opinion: Why I Don’t Often Join Women Empowerment Groups.

Hello. My name is Tressa; I identify as a female, and I love it most of the time.

I have been on the Earth for almost 29 years, and I was extremely shy around men for many years. For my 13th birthday, I was finally a teenager and my mother asked me if I wanted to have boys at my party, and I said, “no.” I only wanted females there.

We had so much fun as girls, and I do believe  my brother was there for a little while, as he’s one of my best friends.

So anyways, I didn’t even hold hands with a boy until I was around 14 years old, and I was considered developmentally behind in this department. Yet, most of my family are males, and most of our pets were too. A few females here and there.

Dance classes and cheerleading were a couple of my hobbies, other than reading and writing, or being outside going on adventures.

So how does this play into my lack of desire to be part of “women empowerment,” events? Well- in my opinion, I think that having an event, highlighting the lack of power that women have, has the potential to degrade women even more.

I think the first step toward women empowerment, is simply as stated:
Own Your Power.

Realize that with or without a label, you are already an extremely powerful entity.

In my experiences,  being part of multiple women empowerment groups, or just all women activities, I have felt extremely smothered, and like the life was being choked out of me by the end.

I feel as though, even if they are not all like this; women at these events are constantly telling other women how to be. Even via happy toned suggestion, that drives me absolutely insane. It makes me hesitant to ever join an all woman’s event ever again, though I know the honest truth is that I probably will try this again someday.

I don’t want to sit there and have other women tell me how to be a happier version of myself, simply because we share the same genitalia.

In all reality, I’ve had more men be nurturing toward me and my needs, than most of the women I’ve ever come across.

With women, I’ve often left places feeling empty and disgusting. Not always, but enough times for me to finally speak out about it here.

I’m not saying that women can’t be nurturing, they absolutely are amazing beings. I have a million and one great memories with women. I personally just struggle being in a situation too long, with only women.

Please understand that I absolutely love women, as people, as friends, and as beautiful sexual, powerful beings of light; but I also very much view men this way.

I think that Pink Floyd said it best; “United we stand, Divided we Fall.”

I honestly prefer Jack and Jill style events, and I’ll be the woman visiting both sides, back and forth, if the groups decide to separate into genders. Or sucking it up with the women, wondering what the men are doing…or chilling with the men, accused of being “just a slut“, or “clearly a lesbian,” by the masses.

The truth is, sometimes I feel too smothered around groups of all men as well. I literally enjoy balance and gender fluidity, plus there’s something about male energy that I truly enjoy being around, and I think that it’s important to identify these feelings within ourselves.

I also enjoy my alone time occasionally.

Do I love doing “feminine” things? Absolutely! But why is self-care “feminine?”

Would I go to a sleepover with just women?Absolutely. Would I do that in my current state of mind? – Maybe, but my heart is tied.

I want to grow from my past experiences, but the amount of nitpicking I’ve received as well as witnessed, from “Women Empowerment Groups,” has been enough to make me want throw up, and to really take my time before joining another, “all female” event.

As someone who lived their life in and out of such events, I really need to be around “masculine” energy right now, but I’m overjoyed to still be considered included in these events, to help women feel more comfortable with themselves, but true comfort comes from within, and as many times as a woman has made me feel good, I’ve unfortunately had just as many experiences that they were absolutely degrading.

I would often rather hear sex jokes from men, than the whines, or even the screams, or laughter, of women.  That’s because of the nature of petty behavior. Without women though, I would be bored senseless at times. There’s no denying that without the laughter, of women, life would be empty. We carry life within our very womb, and laughter centered right by our hearts – but who put it there?

I believe in empowering the Divine Masculine as well as the Divine Feminine, they are both rising, neither one is more important than the other. Toxic masculinity and toxic femininity are dissipating, and true love is being discovered more once again.

As far as my communication style goes; I’m  more of the let’s get this over with, or spar about this, or have a friendly competition, kind of person, than the let’s hate each other for 20 years and talk shit or never speak again kind of person, but the people who would rather hate for 20 years in silence, they don’t like nipping things at the bud apparently, and now I’m the “crazy bitch“ for confronting the issues head on.

Men seem to address issues head on and more delicately, far more than women. They tend to flow with precision. I prefer this form of communication.

I say this, but I’ve also met men who hold grudges and won’t even speak about their lives at all.

The point is, to remain inclusive with our peers and loved ones, when we can, regardless of gender. I actually enjoy some of the “stereotypical,” gender roles, but honestly, they can be quite harmful to our character if we don’t view these roles as a challenge, or accept them with grace when appropriate.

At least most men have always been gentle with me.


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